The fake girlfriend deal. ||BEING HEAVILY EDITED||

Two| You want what? (Edited)

  

       By noon I had a plan. I couldn't be miserable my entire college year. This was my one chance at changing my life, a new start, I Couldn't just allow myself to wallow in self pity.

It was clear I couldn't have Riven change rooms, not unless I filed a report of wrongdoing against him, and what was there to report? He's a man? Who's cocky? Not enough.

So, I decided I would only be in my dorm when it was absolutely necessary. It would force me to socialize, make friends, I could always hang out with Diamond, or go to study hall. Plus I did need to get a job.

So off I went, tugging a thick jacket over my shoulders, I walked outside and made my way to the edge of the campus where all the fast food places lie. Since college was just starting up again, every place had a help wanted sign hanging in the window.

The coffee shop at the end of the tiny road looked welcoming. Coffee and books, the only things I've based my personality off of.

The door chimes with bells as I push it open and step inside. The walls are a maroon color, and round glass tables are all scattered in front of me and to my left. Each wall is covered in a mirage of aesthetic photos, some of leaves in autumn, some of coffee, sunrises, and black and white photos of our College's alumni.

It smelled of freshly baked apple turnovers, bread, coffee, hazelnuts and whipped cream. It smelled like heaven. The scent of apples calms my racing heart for a second and I don't even worry about if the customers are staring at me like I usually would.

"Hi! Welcome to the Bean stop!" A young girl with a tight blonde ponytail skips over to the register, smiling right at me. "How can I help you?"

Don't sound stupid. Don't sound stupid.

I clamp my hands together behind my back and play with the rings on my fingers, "I was wondering if you're hiring? I'd like an application."

Her dark blue apron has a tiny name tag on it, reading 'Lindsay.'

Lindsay nods, her face still pressed in a pleasant smile, "They're on the small shelf next to the door, third shelf down!"

"Thanks." Stupid. I should've looked there.

I go to the shelf and grab an application and a pen, sit down at a table near the door, and begin scribbling away. My classes were only on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, and they didn't start until ten am, letting out at roughly 4:30. I calculate how much sleep I need, how long it takes me to eat and shower, and finally write down what times I'm able to work, scheduling as little time as possible in my dorm.

I pass the application back to Lindsay with a small and gracious smile, hoping I looked somewhat put together and not stupid. "Thank you."

"No problem, we'll call within a day, we're so short staffed I doubt you'll have trouble getting in!" She turned back to a machine and began grinding up ice. "Have a great day!"

I wish everyone could be this nice.

With some time to kill, I found myself nestled in a corner of the campus library, fiction didn't peak my interest today, and I was in the mood to work on bettering myself. I peruse through the self help section and find a book on sexual assault and coping with anxiety afterwards. It was bound to be triggering but it had to be worth a shot, right?

I was correct. It was triggering, some depictions of what sexual assault can do to the brain had me shaky, nauseated and tired, but I pushed through, I know it's not smart to intentionally allow myself to be triggered, but I needed answers on how to get more comfortable with living again.