Sophia

The past is gone and only the future remains..

Dear Diary,

  "Sophia.." Someone pushes my shoulder slightly.

  "Hmmgh" I mumble pushing the cold hands away. My little ease dropping trip last night left me up for hours thinking about how I could find my angel boy. I had only just gotten to bed around six am.

  "Sweetheart, come on. We have to hurry. We've got a lot of things to do today." My mother's voice rings in my ear. I want to reply,"What are we going to do mom? Go and find a doctor that will keep me from killing myself? Are we going to find me a place where I can live in isolation away from heart ache?"

  But I don't say this, instead I say,"What things?"

  My eyes are still closed tight trying to will back the sleep that has already left my body, but it left the tiredness.

  "Well you can't keep wearing my clothes. They are still a whole size longer than you are. Plus we need to pick up a larger bed." She says shaking me still but lightly. Oh yeah. I forgot I wasn't in my comfortable bed, that was almost three sizes to small. And the clothes? I couldn't even get the jeans over my knee and the shirts hardly covered my chest area.

  "Can't we do that later today?" I ask her turning away from the direction she was shaking me from.

  "No, sophia. I know your still exhausted from your....transformation, but we have a meeting at three with the Kerry High School principal. I don't want you missing one more day of school. Now come on get up! I won't play this game with you." She says with a bit of anger in her voice. Her and dad spent the whole night talking about me and my choices. I bet she wasn't to happy about the fact that I was going to High School. I'm surprised she didn't talk dad out of it last night. Go dad!  That in mind, didn't mom remember what it was like to be a teenager? I'm so tired I don't even think I can open my eyes. Can't she just leave me alone for an hour?

  "Now Sophia!" She says slightly agitated. I opened my eyes slightly and glared at her.

  "Chop chop!" She says clapping her hands together quickly.

  "Fine!" I say rolling over and kicking off the warm blanket.

  She makes an agitated noise as she shuts my door, she obviously didn't like my tone.

  "Well guess what mom I didn't like yours either." I mumble under my breath.

  "Sophia! Don't talk to your mom that way." Dad yells down from the floor above me.

Really? No privacy whatsoever except in my head. That is if mom wasn't listening to my every thought afraid that I'll off myself right here and now.

  I sit completely still and wait for her to come rushing up for another lecture. I don't hear the sound of her rushing up the stairs so I let out a breath. At least I still had my head for privacy. I stand up and see clothes lying on my younger bed. I look in my closet and see it empty. Hangers hanging on the rails no clothes to hold up. Drawers in dressers empty of all pajamas. No shoes in the bottom of the closet to call mine.

  Bag by bag all my clothes were packed away leaving my room barren of all clothing. I mean, I don't have any use for them now and they were going to a good cause to people who need them, but I feel like I have nothing to call mine. Well except for my necklace from Uncle Gabriel and grandma. My pictures are still hanging on the wall. My jewelry box that plays mom and dad's songs when I open it is still right there sitting on my bedside table. They seem like someone else's possessions. Memories from an old life. Like I existed only in the past, a ghost of a past life.

  "You almost done Sophia?" Mom yells upstairs. I hurriedly pull on the jeans she left on my bed, pull the blouse that she left over my head, slip on the perfect white socks, and shoved my feet in the boots she left beside my bed. Its good that the only difference in size between my mother and I is that she is a size taller than me. 

  I jog down the stairs toward my mom and dad, who are hoping that the girl coming down the stairs will be the one from the past. I'm completely different now though.

                          ~Sophia