Beside You

Chapter 17 - Caught

All alone in my room, I close my eyes to think about Calum.

I think about why I love him, is he worth it, and so on and so forth. The taxi ride was quiet and Luke didn't even bother to talk. But somehow, our hands met. What do I truly feel for Luke, and what about Calum?

My thoughts eat up my mind and didn't realize how dark it already was. I hear a knock on the door but chose to ignore it and turn to the other side of the bed. "Are you alive? You've been stuck here all afternoon. I already miss hearing your irritating voice." I don't answer.

"Why wont you answer me, Si?" He says as he jumps on top of me. I push him and he manages to stay on the bed. I turn to see a pouting Michael and laugh. "What do you want, you wangchung." I turn my back on him and smile. "Don't call me that. I know what you did." He says teasingly. "What do you mean you know "what i did"? My tone changes and I see Michael's expression change.

"You and Luke." He says with an eyebrow up. "What?" I say sitting up. "I saw the kiss. You don't know how fucking long Luke wanted that." He shakes his head and falls to the bed. "How-"

"You can't escape the Clifford." I slap his thigh and he moans. "Is this how you slap Calum too? Damn he's been getting it hard." I roll my eyes. Michael laughs. I don't know what to say, I was just so speechless. "Hey, have you and Calum done it yet? I'm just curious." Michael says rubbing his thigh. "Of course not." I defend. "Wait, did you tell Ashton?"

"Nope. Do you want him to know?" He says smirking. "I don't know. I don't know! I don't even know how I feel about Luke or Calum anymore. Michael, can you just-"

"Calum cheated on you. He lied about being in the studio when you arrived. He was with Caitlin, he's been seeing her for the past few weeks when we arrived here. It's like he knew her way before."

Before I could react, Luke comes in. "Luke." I say with a soft voice. He runs in and hugs me. Michael gets up then leaves. Tears fall rapidly and Luke's hug gets tighter.

"I was kinda eavesdropping. I'm sorry, I didn't know. To be honest, I knew something was going on but you were on my mind the whole time and you being okay over there in Australia was bugging the fuck out of me. I didn't wanna assume about Cal's actions and didn't bother to actually find out for you."

"I'm so sorry I didn't. I know how much Calum means to you. I'm so stupid. I don't know how you feel about me and if you don't feel the same, it's okay. It's just that Calum doesn't deserve someone like you. Even though he's my bestfriend." Luke starts to tear up. "Luke, don't cry. I know, I should've considered your feelings. I'm the stupid one here, Calum thought he could get away with this. It's not your fault he's a jerk." Luke bites his lip and breathes heavily.

Before he could say anything else, I kiss him. We both pull away and he sniffles. "So what are you gonna do about him?" Luke rubs his nose and he looks at me with watery eyes. "We were going to break up anyway because of the tour. We're not even talking now. I'm so sorry Luke." I hug him and kiss his cheek.

After 2 days of struggling, we're finally going home. In the airport, Calum tries to hold my hand but I push it away. In the airplane, I sleep on Luke's shoulder and manage to keep myself busy. Arriving at the airport, the guards tell us to pass the other way to avoid the mobbing. We get to Calum's house and I get inside right away.

"Sine!" Calum grabs my arm. 

"What?!" I try to free my hand from his grip but he's too strong.

"Why the hell are you ignoring me! You're not going to be seeing me in the next few months. I still want this to work out! Are you still mad at me for being over-protective? I'm sorry about that. What else did I do? I love you. You can't just throw me away." He tries to meet my eyes and I dont look at his face. "I don't know if it would still be you."

"Is there someone else?" He seems like he's begging, telling from the way he's talking. "No. We're done anyways, okay. You and I need to get used to this." He lets go and I run up to my room and pack. After a few hours of getting all my things and put it in my car, I give Calum one last kiss. We both hug and I leave.

I go back to my old apartment, the one where me and Luke used to stay in but this time it's only me. I unpack all my things and eat dinner. My phone was blowing up with messages but I didn't wanna talk to Luke, Ashton, Michael, or anyone else. I needed time for myself.

After taking a relaxing hot bath, I sit on my old desk and open the right drawer. I get out a small box which was filled with Polaroids. Pictures of me and my friends, me and Calum and a few ones with Luke. There was this one particular picture wherein I'm looking at the camera and Luke was looking at me.

Why was I so naive and ignorant to push him away?

I rub the Polaroid with my thumb and look at it closely. I think to myself, things would've been different with Luke. Way different. I put the Polaroid down and get under the covers. So now that I've ended things with Calum, what's going to become of me and Luke? Was I really done with Calum?