Beside You

Chapter 3 - Pressure

Days turn into weeks.

Everyday, I try to wake up for the reason that he'll be back soon, that I'll finally feel him around me and that I'll never ever have doubts again. The time zones are killing me, so I'm blessed if I could talk to him when he's not busy. He rarely calls. I miss him so bad.

On a Saturday afternoon, while I was reading in the living room, Alex bursts through the door, turns on the TV and switching it to another channel. She jumps beside me, making me bounce on the spot. I immediately see the boys, 5SOS, dancing up and down with their instruments while Calum sings. He looks so happy, it made me happy.  After that short scene, it was taken over by them being interviewed. 

The interviewer says: "Calum, these past few weeks has been an adventure for you. Just look at these." The screen zooms into the pictures before the interviewer can give them to Calum, picture after picture with girls kissing him on the cheek and him holding their waist. "You're quite the ladiesman I see."

"Well..." Calum says lifting his shoulders and hands in an I-don't-know gesture. Luke nods in disagreement followed by Michael's pissed look. "What about you, boys? Any girl back home?" says the interviewer. 3 of them try to relieve themselves from Calum's reaction and fix themselves in their seat.

"Nahh. Keepin' myself for someone out there. But I would love to date someone from my hometown. That'd be great." says Luke, finishing the sentence with a cheeky smile.

"So do I" says Ashton. "I'll date anyone, even Beyonce." says Michael. The 3 of them laugh, along with the interviewer.

Before the interview finishes, I switch the TV off and try to understand what Calum just did. Why didn't he say he was with me, that he had someone waiting back home? Was he ashamed of me?

I was just pissed. Heartbroken. Sad. Maybe I'm not the kind of girl he'd want to show off to the world. Maybe he was afraid that his girl wasn't some superstar, just a girl who didn't do anything interesting.

"But don't they know you here?" Alex rubs my back, trying to make me feel better. "I don't know. In the airport...those fans knew." My voice is shakier than I expected it to be. "Don't worry, Si. It's probably because the fame got into his head." She says reassuring me. 

Later that night, I get a text from Calum. 

"Hey babe, how are you? I missed you. xx"

Should I ask him about the interview? Maybe he would find me too annoying. Maybe I'm such a nuisance to him. Why should I burden him with my own thoughts, I should keep them to myself. So I reply with this instead:

"I'm fine. I gotta sleep. Goodnight. Love you."

At night, only tears cradle me to sleep. A million questions pop in my head, replacing every new one. In the morning, I try not to watch TV or go on the internet but my temptations overpower me. There's news about him and a girl seen together and him at parties getting so drunk.

This was too much for me to handle. Then there's Marcus. Trying to buzz his way back into my life again about asking me if I wanna hang out or get coffee. Other days, I just decide not to charge my phone knowing it will only be his name showing up in my inbox, not Calum's.

So I try to keep myself as busy as possible by swimming, painting and reading. There are days wherein Alex and I would go shopping and meet some of her guy friends.

One night, she suddenly honks her car in front of the house. I jump and rush to open the door. She stood by the doorway, her hair all wavy and her clothes seem all tight yet sexy. I knew where this was going. I turn my back at the sight of seeing her full figure and she follows me to the stairs, leaving the door open behind her.

"Let's go have some fun, Sine." she says grabbing my arm. I pull it away.

"And then what? End up waking naked in someone's house?" I say making my way up to my room. "I'll take care of you. Come on, Calum's living the life and having fun. Why can't you?" 

I stop at this, and turn to her. "Maybe you're right." I need to have my own revenge too. Anything that will happen to me is because of Calum. "Damn well I'm right! Now let's get you changed." She pulls my arm and brings me to my room.

After an hour, I feel so new. My skin has its proper moisture and my make up not too dark. I look into the mirror and see myself in a black mini dress and not so high heels, just the right measurement for me to walk with. The hair is brought back to life and shines under the light. Alex stands behind me, all giddy and excited. "Let's go already, we'll be late!!"

Before I knew it, we were parking in front of a mansion, all covered with different lights and bombarded with music and people. "Who's house is this?" I say getting out of the car, fixing my outfit. "It's Jake Martin's. You know him right?" she says retouching her lip gloss. "Yeah."

The name gives me a short flashback. It was in the 8th grade. I remember he used to bully me a lot when his friends were around but when it would be only me and him, he'd kiss me when he'd get the chance. And I had no idea why I let him. Soon, word got out that we were 'dating'. So we stopped. He stopped.

As I enter, people on my left were eating each other's faces and to my right it was a wild beer shower on the dining area. Alex guides me and leads me to the backyard. 

This is one wild party. Calum would freak to see me here.

People swimming with no clothes on and rubbing themselves together so intimately, the DJ dropping insane beats, the smell of beer everywhere. I missed this part of my life, the fun part. Before meeting Calum, I was a fucked up mess along with me and Marcus' break up.

Alex introduces me to two guys; the right one wearing a white shirt and a pair of blue and neon green board shorts and the other one in a black shirt and black pants. "Sine, this is Jake and Zion."

The one wearing all black smiles at me. "I remember you." It was him. He winks at me and I roll my eyes.

After meeting them, things get hazy. One of the girls who I just met puts something in the bottle of beer in my hand. I drank more and more until I couldn't take it and let myself go. I wake up to the sensation of my lips being kissed and my boobs being touched. I pull myself away and find out I'm in a bedroom.

With Jake.