Beside You

Chapter 15 - Return

At the arrival gate, we were greeted by loads of fans. Calum held my hand while Luke's hand was on my back, the usual. Each of the boys were stolen for a picture and a hug. I was surprised that even I was being asked if it was okay that I have a picture with a group of girls. Probably my age. After a few more flashes and hugs, we make our way out of the airport and into the car. 

Me, Luke and Calum sit at the back while Ashton and Michael sit in front of us. We each stop at the boys' houses, dropping them off. When we drop off Luke, he waves goodbye then heads straight for the door. It felt a bit unusual that he didn't say anything else. I push the thought away and turn to Calum who's fast asleep on my lap. I brush the hair off his forehead and his eyes open.

He touches my cheek and then slides his hand down to my chin to bring it closer to his lips. I kiss them lightly and I pull away to see a happy Calum. "I love you." He whispers. "Do you?" I ask as if I didn't care. He sits up then looks at me worriedly. "Why are you doubting that?" He grabs my hands and holds it with his. I shake my head and Calum still hangs on to my hands until we reach his house.

I run to the door, throw my luggages on the couch and run upstairs. Calum tries to catch up to me but he can't. "Sine, why-" I shut the door before he could finish. I lock it and search for the earphones in my pocket. I quickly plug it into my phone and shuffle the songs. I go to the side of my bed and sit there while the rain starts to pour.

I still hear loud thumps on my door but I choose to ignore it. I needed time alone to think and eventually decide. Soon, sleep catches up on me and I wake up to a text. It was from Luke.

''Sine, do you want me to come over?"

"Please." I reply.

After a few minutes, I hear a knock on the door. I pull my earphones off, stand up and approach it. The door slowly opens and Luke gets in. He closes the door behind him and puts his hands in his pockets. "Did Calum sent you to do this for him or this is just you?" I go back to my position with Luke sitting beside me.

"He was surprised to see me at the door yet  he looked relieved. He asked me if I knew what was going on and I told him I had no clue. Sai, why are you acting like this?" He says as he buries his head on the side of my neck. "I'm confused."

He looks at me a bit surprised. "This is all my fault, isn't it. We shouldn't have kissed in the first place. Ashton told me he told you." He looks down and starts rubbing his thumbs. "But if it weren't for that, I wouldn't know what was really going on. Thank you for caring so much Luke." I reply with a hug. He lets go and shrugs. "You can't leave Calum guessing forever. You have to tell him."

We both go down to see Calum in the couch with his phone in his hands. He gets up seeing me and tries make out a half-hearted smile. Luke goes to the door, waves at me and smiles at Calum. As soon as he leaves, I go down to Calum who's putting away his phone. "What have I done this time? Baby, tell me." He pulls my shirt which brings me closer to him.

"Do you really care about me? Why was Luke the one who came here, not you? Dammit Cal, I feel as if you don't give a shit about me and Luke was fucking right. It seems like he's the only one fighting for me." I push him with my hands on his chest and the tears began to pour.

I turn my back at him and try to stop the tears. I fall to the ground with my hands still rubbing my eyes. "Stop lying to me with all this bullshit. If you don't want me anymore, just say it and I'll be out of your life forever." I start to sob so much that it's uncontrollable.

A pair of warm, big hands are placed on my shoulders. Both of his legs slowly slide down beside mine. Calum hugs me from behind, cradling me in his warmth. 

"I do love you. I just can't decide everything all at once. Us, the tour. Everything's a mess. If you want, I'd leave the band for you." He says. "Calum, if you do love me, then listen to me okay. Go pursue your dream." I sniffle. Calum gradually begins to hold me tighter.

"But will it still be me when I get back?" He asks.

"I can't promise you that."

"Thanks for telling me the truth." He lets out a sigh then kisses my cheek. "Calum," I say facing back. "Who gave you those pictures of me and Jake?" Calum glances in the air then gets his phone from the pocket of his jeans. He unlocks it, scrolls down and hands it to me.

I look at the screen to see an unknown number who's sending MMS messages. I check my phone for the number and wasn't surprised to see who it was. It was Marcus. Calum grabs my phone and calls.

"Thanks for sending me all those pictures. It made me realize how much I needed her closer to me, asshole. Go fuck off."

Calum ends the call and gives my phone back to me. I slip it back into my jeans. I smile at him and Calum smirks. "How can this be okay with you? All those pictures...the pain must be unbearable. Maybe we both deserved it because I felt the same shit when I saw you with those other girls." I say.

Why was he always so calm when things are really fucked up? This is the part of Calum that I really admired. He had a this wave of calmness all over him every time and had a really bad side to it.

"I don't wanna lose you, even though I feel like my heart's breaking because of you. You make me feel complete and I don't know how to be like that without you. I'm willing to endure any kind of pain for you. Anytime, Sine. I was stupid not to listen to Luke, and I'm regretting every second of it. I just wanna see you happy. Even if it's not going to be with me."

Luke, I whisper to myself.