Beside You

Chapter 5 - Love

Luke gets up and sits beside me. "What's really going on?" I say with tears in my eyes.

"Even if he's a jerk sometimes, he gives time to tell me things. His thoughts and his pains. There was this one night wherein he was in a really bad mood. He burst through my door and started ranting about a lot of things, including the reasons why he couldn't talk to you that often. Then I asked him 'What are you really doing to Sine?'"

"He explained to me why he never wanted the world to know about you two. He was only trying to protect you. He cried saying "I just want her here" over and over again. I tried to cheer him up that this will be over soon. Remember what happened in the airport? So you see. He finds it annoying that he has to pretend he's going out with other people just to keep the attention away from you. It's probably to most painful thing for him to do because all he wants to do is come home to you."

I feel a sharp pain in my heart, knowing that I've been wrong all along and I even make it out as if I don't care. Why did I make him feel so alone, why, why, why. I close my eyes and the longing for his arms around me strengthens.

Instead of his, I get Luke's. He pulls me in for a long hug, telling me it'll be okay even if it's not right now. I break into more tears and Luke tries to wipe every single one before they drop.

Letting go, he holds both of my hands in his. I sniffle and Luke smiles.

"Stop crying. All you get is sniffles, red eyes and a dry throat. Pretty girls don't deserve to shed a single tear." He pinches my nose in the softest way and stands.

I smile at this and Luke pulls me up. He looks at the time and then reaches into his pocket, grabbing his car keys. "Let's go buy some movies."

We pick a dozen different movies. From chick flicks to sci-fi ones. At home, we make popcorn and he bakes some cookies. The kitchen becomes a TV show to a war zone. We both decide to bathe and meet in his room.

I wear my pink rubber ducky pajamas and he wears his blue monkey ones. We both sit on his bed, choosing which movie to watch first. So I pick out 'Mean Girls' and place it inside the cd player. We both put our legs below the covers and I grab the bowl of popcorn while he gets his plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

In the middle of the movie, I receive a text from Alex.

"Hey, how are you? I'm so sorry Sine. I really feel bad because I was supposed to take care of you yet you ended up...screwed."

I reply as quickly as I can or else I might miss the good parts of the movie.

"It really wasn't your fault because I decided to drink so much and almost ended up with Jake. Nothing really happened. The only damage done was the kissing, nothing more."

I lock my phone and focus my attention to the movie. After the first movie, Luke decided to take a short bathroom break. I look around his room and spot a CD being placed on top of the books in the small bookshelf. "Luke, hurry. I found something." I say putting the CD into the CD player and jumping into the bed.

It starts out with Calum, taping the video himself. The video becomes clearer and zooms out. It's in the morning and I see myself in the white covers of his bed, sleeping. Calum zooms into his face and talks.

"April 2012. Hi Sine. If you ever get to see this, I just want you to know that I love you so much. You've been there for me, and you're all I ever needed. Even though I don't really deserve you, I always tell myself that I'm going to be better for her. That's my promise to you and one day, you're gonna be proud of me that I actually became the boyfriend, the man, and the husband that you wanted. I still remember the first day I met you. You were in the library with Luke and I didn't know you were friends yet. You were looking for some books. And then we both pulled out the same book and saw each other. You know that it wasn't exactly love at first sight. But you crept up on me and your name will always echo through out my body. Sine, you taught me how to love and I'm never gonna stop. It's always been you. Nothing can keep us apart."

The video ends and I soon find myself smiling instead of crying. Just the thought of him going back makes me happy.

Luke looks at me and smirks. "I remember that day. Both of you yelled at each other at who needed the book most and were sent to detention. After that, he never stopped talking about you and it felt all weird because I was your best friend and he was my bud too."

"All weird, huh?" I say nudging him in the shoulder. "Shall we carry on?" he says with a bunch of CD's in his hand.

Soon, I fall asleep. But after a few minutes, I feel arms around me, a leg on top of my lower torso and I open my eyes. "I need a human pillow. After all, Ashton isn't here." says Luke. I sigh. "Just don't push me off."

In the morning, I see to it that I'm the first one who wakes up. I leave the room quietly, seeing that Luke is hogging the whole bed. I go down stairs to the dining room to get a glass of water. The quietness in the house resembles the life without Calum. I grab the ring that hangs around my neck, rubbing it. I start to talk to myself, to lift me from this depression.

Nothing can keep us apart, he said.

It's always gonna be me, he said.

I love you, he said.

I'm coming home, he said.

I snap myself back to reality. I go back to Luke's room and see that he's up and his hands are brushing his blonde waves back. He hands me my phone. "It's Calum."

I read the message slowly.

"I saw the pictures. You, drunk as fuck. Jake, all over you. I'm sorry but I can't do this."