Ask Lucy

Chapter 5

Just from that horrid second my life had gone from good to bad; to worse and finally to the official maximum of the definition of worst. Things really were going great as I hope it would be this week. Mum tries to hurt herself with a pen whilst I call the ambulance. I even couldn’t speak properly because of the on-going blood occurring constantly on the bed. As I hang up the phone we had to throw away the “thing” that never got the chance to be a living baby.

 As the ambulance came I mouth to Mum “I love you” as they put her on a gurney. She looked really sick because lips looked like it was blue. I held Ed in my hands calmly as if everything was going to be okay. So it was just the end of that unborn thing. I couldn’t keep crying for the baby that never lived. It was a natural fact that it was never to be seen or heard of again. I wait outside the hospital room waiting to hear the news as I see Dad come running through the corridors. Why on earth was he here?

“Where’s your mother? Is she all right?” he asks out of breath. How could he have the nerve to show his face here after everything he did to Mum? Her miscarriage was because of him. He gave her the stress which caused her so much pressure.

“You cheated on Mum whilst she was carrying your baby. You’ve done enough for her. Ed and I are far better off without your appearance lurking up and down Mum’s house. Don’t you get it? We hate you.” I say in a flat yet serious tone. He looks down to try and figure out what to say – he always had done this.

“That doesn’t concern your business. She did this to herself. If she stopped nagging me about my ‘loser life’ and focused on herself this wouldn’t have happened. Your just a stupid pimply teenage girl who shouldn’t eavesdrop on other people’s conversation. You’re a nosey girl. I’m surprised you actually have friends,” He says mockingly. Was this really a side of Dad I had never seen before? Him and Courtney were the same. I tried not to get emotional because my own father called me this. I wanted to smack him across the face but I couldn’t have been allowed to do that. I would’ve done it but we’re at the hospital for goodness sake.  People would’ve thought I was the sly and mischief one.

“You are so dead to me. I hate you. You are not worth being called a dad, husband or even a mature adult. What kind of a husband cheats on their PREGNANT wife and still makes fun of their daughter? Who are you?” I asked sensitively. What kind of a father was he?

“I don’t care what you think about me. I have thought about how I wasted over 15 years with you and your daft siblings. I just came to see how she was doing. She CALLED me.  Stop getting in people’s life. You won’t understand how we adults feel about kids thinking they know what’s best when they don’t. If you actually try and keep your nose out of things people will actually like you.” He says sternly.

 I run off crying to the girls’ toilets after what he said about me. Was I really unlikeable to people? Courtney and Dad said the same thing to me. I knew how much of a pickle I was in nowadays. Maybe he was right. I was too involved in stuff I shouldn’t have been in the first place. I didn’t want to give up on Mum leaving Dad even though it was none of my business. She’s my Mum and every child wants what’s best for their Mum. If parents do the same things, why can’t I?

 I come out of the dirty stalls after sobbing for half an hour. I find Dad coming out of her room. He looks normal – Just his NORMAL self. I come running to find out what happened to Mum. As I try to open the door Dad grabs my hand and makes me sit in the waiting room just outside the room. I get up because I chose him not to boss me around anymore since I want nothing to do with him anymore. He gets up whilst I get up and turns me around to talk to him.

“Sit back down. You have no business lurking about the hospital doing God knows what,” He says rolling his eyes.

“What happened to her? What happened? I deserve an explanation. I love and care for her,” I say it to him directly so he should have felt ashamed.