Project Boy Band

Chapter 8: Panic attack

I can't believe I let harry see me cry. I hate showing weakness.

It's hard to see through my tears, I happen to make it to a room.

I shove my way through the door and sit on the couch with my back to the door.

My body is shaking with every sob I make. I can't control my emotions.

I sit in silence, I check my phone and see that I've been sitting here for 45 minutes.

The amount of energy it takes for me to walk to the mirror is excruciating. It feels like I just ran a marathon.

I use the chairs in front of the mirror to keep my balance.

The girl staring back at me looks like she's been to hell and back.

With her puffy eyes, and mascara running down her red face.

I roughly swipe at my face with the back of my face.

My vision starts to blur.

I'm finding it hard to breath.

I'm having a panic attack and no one is here to help me.

My hand flies to my chest as I struggle to get air.

I sit down in the closest chair.

"You're never going to be one of us so stop trying.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Are the walls getting closer or is it just me.

I stand up slightly and push the chair as far away from me as possible.

I sit under the table, leaning against the wall.

"Don't talk to me unless you're dying..."

STOP! I box my ears and bring my knees up to my chest.

"I couldn't give two shits if you were dying..."

"STOP IT!! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

My hands make their way up to my hair, tugging hard at the roots.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block his words out.

I start humming while I rock back and forth.

"Natalie! Natalie it's okay calm down." Someone says removing my hands from my ears.

"Look at me." The voice says.

I look up squinting through the darkness, it's Daisy.

I didn't realize I was crying again until I feel tears land on my hands.

The room seems to be stuffy and dark. I don't even answer Daisy I just throw my arms around her and cry.

She lets me cry on her shoulder. The way she rubs my back and whispers reassuring words to me makes me cry even more.

After what feels like forever the door opens and a very loud 5sos walks in laughing and messing around.

Daisy's head snaps toward the door. I feel her arm moving, I know she's trying to make them go away.

I slowly start to get up. Shit my legs are cramped like nobody's business.

Daisy stands up and grabs my hand to help me up.

I make the mistake of looking in the mirror again. I look even worse than before. My nose is bright red and my eyes look swollen.

"You okay?" Daisy gives me a concerned look.