Brick Girl [Completed]

I'm no good for you

Tara

I stared at the canvas in front of me. I just couldn't do anything. I usually had hundreds of ideas but I'm blank.

I moved away from the canvas and sat at the desk. Everyone had gone home so it was just me and my heaven. I pulled my sketchbook out my bag and started to draw aimlessly and let my thoughts drift. After twenty minutes or so, my phone beeped bringing me back into the present.

I checked my phone- Zeke.

"Hi?"
"Hi, it's Zeke."
I smiled , "I know. Everything ok?"
"Yeah, I was just wondering if you still wanted to hang out?"
"Yeah, sure, I'm still in class just now."
"Ok. I'll come to you. See you soon."

I looked down at my sketchpad surprised to see the beginnings of a portrait. My stomach churned, it was the picture of my dad.

"Hi," Zeke said, knocking the opened classroom door gently.

I stood up startled and grabbed the sheet of paper.

"Are you ok?" Zeke asked, he walked into the room and perched on the edge of a table.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good," I started to gather my things up. I felt confused and sad. I had never drawn my dad and  the first time I have it's the picture I stare at whilst my mum hits me.

What's wrong with me?

"Have you been drawing?"Zeke moved to the table and reached out to take the paper in my hand.

"NO!" I half shouted and pulled it out of his reach.

Zeke looked at me startled.

"Sorry, it's just...I don't like to show anyone my drawings until they are done. Sorry."

Zeke smiled, "Ah ok. Sorry I shouldn't have tried to look."

I folded the drawing over and shoved it into my bag. I walked over to Zeke and he hugged me carefully. It was as if he knew I was in pain.

"Do you want to come to mine?" He dropped a kiss onto the top of head.

"Yes, please," I mumbled into his chest.

He held my hand and we made our way to his car.

—————————————

Zeke

Tar was quiet all the way home. When we got out the car, I held her hand but it just felt as if she was miles away from me.

I got us a couple of drinks and we sat on the sofa. Tar curled up at one end with her feet tucked under her. I turned on some music and we sat in silence. I don't think Tar even realised we weren't talking.

"What did everyone else say about your face?"

Tar looked up absentmindedly.

"Oh my face?" She touched it carefully. "Nothing really. I had art and then study periods so nobody really noticed. I'm not that noticeable anyway."

She took a sip of her water.

"I notice you." I said quietly. I hated hearing Tar talk about herself like that. It reminds me of when she compared herself to being at the bottom of the shit heap. It made me feel sick that someone as sweet as her thought so little of herself.

Tar smiled at me, "I know you do,Zeke. Thank you."

I laughed, "Tar, you don't need to thank me!"

I moved closer to her and pulled her gently towards me. She rested her head against my chest and ran her fingers across my stomach.

It was such a small movement but it felt like electric pulses. I remembered her doing the same when we were in bed together and I felt everything in me start to beat faster.

She glanced up at me, "Are you ok?"

"I've got you," I muttered, my voice hoarse. She kept rubbing her fingers back and forth. She smiled sweetly and I leant down to kiss her.

Something felt different this time, god knows I still wanted Tar, but this time I just wanted to be close to her. I just wanted her to know that I was here and I noticed her. I couldn't get her out of my head.

She moved and straddled me in one swift movement and I could feel her pressing herself against me. I ran my hands up her arms and across her collarbone. I gently pulled her hair back and started to kiss her neck. She moaned softly in my ear and I could feel my heart beating quicker. I opened my eyes and looked at her, her beautiful bruised face and as my eyes drifted closed again I saw the marks on her neck.

I stopped and Tar looked at me nervously.

"Tar. What are those?" I pointed to her neck.

Her hand flew up to the four fading yellow bruises down the side of her neck. Her eyes opened wide as she moved off me and began to grab her hoodie and bag.

"Tar! Answer me! What are those? Is someone hurting you?!"

Tar kept moving and I stood up and blocked the doorway. I could feel my blood boiling with anger. They looked like fingermarks. Fingermarks on the neck of the girl that I....

Tar looked up at me and tried to sidestep me. I copied her and she sighed.

"Let me pass, Zeke. Please." Her voice sounded so broken and old.

"Are you out of your mind? You can't leave! Who is hurting you?" I reached out to her but she moved back.

"It's nothing and it's none of your business." She looked up at me again and her grey eyes were cold like granite.

"None of my business? I thought we.." I trailed off, we had never spoken about what we were doing together.

"We what?" She laughed drily. " I don't need to be involved in anything at the moment. You barely know me!I don't want to be involved with you."

Everything seemed to slow down suddenly. I stepped to the side and she walked past me and down the corridor. I heard her open the door and as it closed, I could have sworn on everything I love that she whispered, "I'm no good for you."