Fated Stars

Chapter 5

Just as every year before the routine of me getting prepared for the mating announcements passed in a daze and everything I did was a ritual that I have done too many times.

First my mother and I bathed in the stream in front of our home. Then when we returned home she had me rub scented lotions and oils that smelled of roses and lavender all over my skin. I love the scent it was what my mother wore when she met my father. She hopes that it will bring me luck tonight and in my heart so do I.

I sit at my vanity and gaze at myself in the mirror as my mother runs a brush gently through my hair helping it dry faster. I love when my mother brushes my hair it calms me and puts me at ease. And the stars know I need to be calm for tonight.

"Oh, Azalea tonight's the night I can feel it; you are going to be given a mate I just know it."

I release a sigh she says the same thing every year. I really wish she would stop saying it because she will be hurting herself more than me from the disappointment to come.

"I hope so mama, but do not be too hopeful it might not be my time." I make eye contact with her through the mirror. I see the sadness and pity within her bright blue eyes. I should not have said that I do not wish to upset her as much as I am already.

I let my head fall and stare at my folded hands breaking the eye contact between me and my mother. "I am sorry mother I should not be thinking so negatively. Please forgive me."

"Azalea look at me my dear fiică." Fiică means baby in our ancient tongue my mother usually calls me that when I need comforting. She grabs my shoulders and turns me to face her. I cannot bring myself the look her in the eyes with my eyes moistening with unshared tears.

"I cannot mother I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I do not think I can do this again." It comes out in a mere whisper anything more and I might lose control over my tears.

"Azalea you have nothing to be ashamed and embarrassed about. It is the stars will and ways. Azaleas they have not given you mate because it was not your time. Maybe they thought you were not ready."

I look into my mother's eyes and release my tears I knew I could not keep control over my emotions for long today, they have finally caught up to me.

"Hush my child everything is going to turn out the way it is supposed to. You need to keep your faith in the stars they will not steer you wrong."

"I am trying mother I do put my faith in them, but it feels like I earn nothing in return. I just wish to be normal I-I just want to be given my mate it will fix everything." I even hear the despair in my voice.

I viciously wipe the tears from my eyes on the back of my hands hating that my mother has to see me in such a state. I know she feels pity enough for me I do not wish to burden her any further; she has done so much for me these past nineteen years of my life.

"Azalea you gaining a mate will not fix everything you wish him to. It starts with you; if you do not love yourself and let go of all the shame and heartache you will not be whole for your mate to love. You will not be able to give yourself wholly to him or love him fully like you should."

I stop wiping my eyes and settle for covering them. What she said cannot be right, having a mate will fix everything I am nothing without one. As of now I am just a miserable excuse for a she wolf.

I feel my mother grab my hands from eyes. "Azalea look at me please. I know what I said was hard for you to hear. I know for the past few years we have skirted around you talking about your feelings and you have been bottling ever emotion up." I hear her voice quiver towards the end.