Fated Stars

Chapter 13 Part 1

Authors Note: ~It's been far to long my lovely readers. For that I apologize, what can I say other than life throws you curve balls. Which unfortunately takes up time and writing was not a priority. Thankfully I find myself in a new place in life where I will have more time to do what I love which is to write. I plan to continue and finish this book even if it takes forever (which to be fair it might lol). I am truly grateful for every person who reads this story and continues to do so. Or if you are new welcome to my story and I hope you enjoy. This is only part 1 of the chapter it is just easier for me to write and edit in small portions. I will have the 2nd part out soon. If you like this chapter please vote. If you have questions or just want to express yourself please comment. If your not following me please do this makes it easier to alert you to and update and I appreciate the support! If you would like me to read your story drop a comment and I would be happy to do so! Enjoy!~

I would think that recognizing Ward should bring me some relief, however I feel quite the opposite. My heart is pounding and I wish I never ventured out here. Ward doesn't say anything he simply stares at me, and I at him. The words he spoke to me in the forest not long ago come to my mind. "if I catch you or hear of you doing this every again; it will not only be told to your father but the Star Bãtrâni as well, understand?". Dread fills me, he cannot tell my father, not with everything going on. I jump to my feet ready to beg his forgiveness. Before I can utter a word, Ward raises his hand and stops my voice from escaping. I gulp and continue to stare desperately trying to read his face and in turn his thoughts. I cannot help myself and consider his eyes, it is dark but his eyes are unmistakably full of sorrow. I feel suddenly self-conscious and intrusive, normally I would look away but I cannot.

After what feels like centuries, he breaks eye contact and looks to the river and finally speaks. "I am not going to tell your father, no need to look so afraid". I hold my breath and I want to feel relieved but something tells me to stay on guard. This is ridiculous thought, Ward wouldn't hurt me. I don't know him well but I do know in my heart he would hurt me. "What are you doing here"? I say simply because I feel stupid staring at him. "Same as you, I came here to think, to remember".

"Toan". I say aloud more for myself but Ward hears it all the same. He smiles half-heartedly as he turns to look at me. "Yes, it's that time of year again, although I believe this is the first time I remember seeing you out here." I look away ashamed, it has been too long since I have set foot anywhere near this dreadful river. Even just thinking about it would get my heart pounding and I felt as if I could not breath. Somehow though with my life changing and all the commotion I did not feel that tightening of my chest, I just walked here.

"I did not mean that to sound accusing, I was just stating a fact". Ward is quick to sense my emotions and offer an apology, although I do not deserve one. "No, it is fine. I have not been here.... In such long time. I doubt I can remember when." I look away in shame. This was the truth, I remember a lot during Toan's passing but years after I had a hard time coping. Sometimes I could not remember a task I just finished, my mind was in a fog.

"But... I could not bring myself to be here and remember. I guess I can now, there is so much I want to share with Toan." I smile a little and I bring myself to look at Ward. "I do not think I have formally expressed how sorry I am that you lost your cousin." I say this so fast because I am embarrassed that I have not, even if it does not mean much now.

Ward turn away from me, and crosses his arms. "There is nothing to apologize for, it was accident nothing more". I am touched by his admission, however I do not feel he is correct. I knew how bad it was for both of us to be alone and playing near the river. I would normally talk Toan out of his adventures but that day I wanted to experience the feeling of being brave. What a childish thing to do. Sadly, Toan paid for my bad judgement not I. I repented to the Stars so many times, yet it will never be enough. I used to believe that I did not receive a mate, because I was being punished not by my mother's actions but my own.

"You are too hard on yourself Azalea." Ward's voice is much closer than I anticipated I look up and find him a foot from me. His face is serious but his voice conveyed concern or pity.

I did not want to be pitied but there it was in his eyes, he feels sorry for me. I take a breath ready to counter his words, to make him see that I am not hard enough on myself.

But he stops me by moving closer, he gets about a 3ft form me. I swallow and can feel my heart begin to pound. He moves closer and closer. What is he up too, he knows this is improper, the space between us gets smaller and smaller. He finally stops about a foot from me, I look down it is not proper to look directly into his eyes. But the urge to is so great that I give in. Oh stars, he looks so sad and almost conflicted. I know I caused he and his family a lot of grief when they lost Toan.

"It is my fault Ward, I wish it was not but it was. I should have stopped Toan I should have listen to my instincts to turn around but I did not". My eyes begin to water, and my throat closes. I begin to cry, once I start I have a difficult time stopping. I just wish Ward was not here to see me cry. I turn my head down and let the tears fall. I should go home and end my embarrassment, but as I turn to leave Ward closes the distance between us and I feel his hand grab my chin. He lifts my chin till I see his eyes. I have never notice his eye color before but they a warm grey tone. "It is not your fault, it will never be your fault. Toan gave his life to save yours. He would not want you to blame yourself. For his sake stop, he would want you to be happy." His voice is so firm and final.

I am so surprised I instantly stop crying, he shouldn't be touching me, I have a mate this is wrong. My legs feel heavy, I need to move but I am so nervous I cannot bring myself or my body to do so. "I want you to be happy too". His voice and eyes become intense and I all I can do is stare and quietly panic about what to do. As soon as I think I have found my voice, Ward leans his head in. Oh Stars, is he going to kiss me? No-no he cannot, I finally get the feeling back in my legs and I pull away quickly. "What are you doing? This is not right, I should not be out here with you alone."

I look at Ward in anger but it is not all his fault I should have left the moment I saw him but I did not. Oh stars, is Kader finds out.... Oh no he cannot. He would be furious I am sure. "I-I need to go". I stumble out and turn to leave. "No wait!" Ward yells but it does no good I take off in a run toward my home. I run and run with one goal in my mind to get home and back to my bed. I get closer and closer almost there, almost there. Then I hear pounding, it sounds like a person running... no not a person a wolf.....