Fated Stars

Chapter 11

I have never felt like this in my entire life, every part of my body feels like an intense heat has been ignited. Kader pushes himself closer and closer to me, if that is even possible, oh stars. My mind is in a fog and nothing else matters in this moment just Kader, only Kader. Then just as suddenly Kader removes himself and his lips from mine. I am left breathless and gasping for air. I look down at his chest, because I am far too embarrassed to look at his face.

"Azalea, look at me please?" I slowly meet his eyes and although they are dark they have begun to change back to Kader normal olive tone. His eyes are searching my face for something, what I cannot be sure.

My mind finally clears from that intense kiss, and then I a thought comes to me, no a realization comes to me, oh stars forgive me. Kader must have seen my horrified reaction because he immediately takes my arms in his hands. "What's wrong Azalea, what happened."

"Kader, I-we should not have done that!" He looks at me in confusion and maybe angry if I am reading him correctly.

"Kader, you know as well as I that we are not officially mated and yet. We should not have kissed our first kiss is supposed to be at the mating ceremony on the Hunters Moons. Oh no the stars, they might forsake us they may not bless our mate ship, oh Kader."

I am in utter dismay, it is a sin to anything intimate like kissing with your mate before the mating ceremony. My mother used to warn me when I was younger just after I became of age. She let me know that after I was given a mate that under no circumstances were we to kiss or become intimate until our mating ceremony.

"Azalea, you cannot be serious, nothing is going to happen." I look at him almost in tears.

"How can you say that Kader you know what....." I cannot even finish my sentence because Kader covers my mouth with his large and warm hand. I look at him in surprise, what is he doing?

"Azalea, please calm down, take a deep breath." Kader removes his hand and I do as he said, I take a deep long breath through my nose and out my mouth. I feel my tears residing but my unease does not disappear.

"Azalea the stars chose us to be together, do you really think that they would shame us just because we kissed?"

I think about this, I suppose Kader does make sense, the stars do intend for us to be mated and kissing certainly is a natural part of being mated.

"Maybe your right, but it's just my mother has always told me that the stars would not look favorably on a mate ship that did not wait."

He looks at me almost frustrated if I had to guess. "Azalea. It is not as if we had sex, and completed our bond, I just kissed you. Maybe I shouldn't have but this night has been such a disaster and the way you look tonight, I just couldn't help it. I wasn't thinking and I am sorry, I moved too quickly."

He was pulling on his dirty blond hair clearly frustrated. Oh stars I didn't mean to be so awful, I just was so shocked and confused. I try to think of what to say, but nothing seem appropriate. Also I am very much embarrassed that he mention us having sex, or I mean not having sex, either way it made me blush.

Kader stops pulling on his hair and stares deeply at me, his stares always feel like he is looking right through me. "I'm sorry Azalea, I can't seem to do anything right, not that seems to matter our whole lives are not our own to control anymore."  Mine never was I thought silently. Then I realize, what am I thinking only the Stars know our fate and what is to come of our future we do not have any say or control, I and Kader must remember this.

"What happened with our fathers Kader? I know it may not be any of my business, but I would like to know. Maybe if you talk to me about it you feel much better."

I look at him hopefully, because although I should not be I am just so curious about what transpired this night. However I am sure Kader will not tell me, women and mates are not privileged to what conversation go on between other males unless their mates allow them to be. 

"It is your business Azalea it's your life just as much as it mine, it's our life together. You must know that your father is elated that you are going to give your pack the next alpha." He looks at me waiting for a response. I just nod my head waiting for him to continue.

"Well what you don't know is that my father believe that you and our future child should become apart of my pack and that you will birth the next alpha in my bloodline."

I am trying to process all this. The thought never occurred to me that I would leave my pack for Kader's. I was just trying to process the fact that I finally have my mate, and I will not be alone for the rest of my life. Then I discover that I will give birth to an alpha pup, but I assumed it would be for my pack, oh stars what does this mean?

I look at Kader finally he is looking off into the distance at the mass forest that surrounds us.

"Kader, what are we going to do? I never thought that I would leave my pack or that..... I never thought about the fact that you were an offspring of an alpha and what that would mean for the both of us."

Kader turns to look at me as I speak then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I know you didn't think about it because I did not either. I guess I was just too excited to receive you and that I would finally get to be on my own and be the head of my family, make my own decisions. Now however none of what I want will matter because of what our future child will become."

"Oh Kader, I-I am so sorry, I did not know this would happen or what-

I do not get to finish my sentence because my eyes are filling up with tears and I do not want Kader to see them. I also do not think I can speak anymore because he will hear the sorrow in my voice and become even more upset.

"Azalea please look at me." Kader demands. I hesitant and then I finally do, I know he can see the tears, and in this moment I feel so weak.

"Please don't cry, I will figure this out, but Azalea there is more that I cannot tell you. I just need you to trust me. I know I said I would give you time to do this but we don't have that time."

 I look at him searching for the secrets he is keeping from me while at the same time debating if I can truly and blinding trust him. Can I trust him not to hurt me, can I trust him with our future, and perhaps more importantly can I trust him with my heart?

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Authors Note: So here is another update, I know it is not long and doesnt develop the story that much but it seems this story is going in a different direction that I first thought, it is growing a mind of it own lol. Anyway any ideas what secrets Kader is keeping? As always vote, comment, follow, and add my story! Please and Thankyou