A New Start

Chapter 10

Evan was walking home with Connor after rehearsal, practically leaning on him.

"I'm in so much pain. My thighs hurt so much," he complained. "My body wasn't made for dancing." Connor chuckled a bit but otherwise stayed silent. "Hey, what's wrong, Con?"

"Nothing," he lied.

Evan stopped walking and looked at him. "Connor, I know you better than that. I know something's bothering you."

"Don't worry about it," Connor said. "It's nothing, really." Evan huffed and continued walking. They reached his house and Connor ruffled his hair. "See you tomorrow, Ev."

Connor got home and dug a joint out of his dresser drawer. He groaned and lit it, pulling his sketchbook out from his desk drawers. Connor flipped the crisp pages over to his most recent drawing, a sketch of Evan. He pulled a pencil out and started drawing his eyes from memory. He puffed smoke out in a circle, sighing. Why was he feeling the way he was?

Connor's phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket. 

New message from: Evan

Why won't you tell me what's wrong?

Because.

Connorrrrrrrrrr

Evannnnnnnn

You're high, aren't you?

...maybe

Connor felt bad about not telling Evan, but what if the truth ruins their friendship? Evan was Connor's first and best friend, he couldn't stand the thought of losing him. Connor ran a hand through his long hair, erasing a line. He heard Zoe practicing a song for jazz band. He actually didn't mind it.

- - -

Evan sighed and tossed his phone onto his bed. What was going on with Connor? Why wouldn't he talk to Evan? Connor was the only person Evan felt truly safe around, other than his mother. Evan started pacing around his room, stressing out. What if Connor stopped liking him? What if Connor hated him? Evan started hyperventilating and he sat down against his wall. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Heidi came into the room.

"Evan, are you okay?" She saw him panicking and walked over to him. "Sweetie, sweetie, breathe. Four, seven, eight. Repeat." Evan focused on counting his breaths until he calmed down. "So, what happened?"

"Connor's upset and he won't tell me why and he's stressed out so he's smoking and I want to help him but I don't know why and then I started overthinking things so here we are," Evan rambled.

Heidi hummed in sympathy and sat next to him. "Maybe wait for him to come to you," she suggested. Evan nodded, leaning against his mother, taking in her comforting smell. Heidi ran her hand through her son's hair. Evan rested his head on her shoulder and slowly drifted off to sleep. Heidi smiled and set him gently on the carpeted floor, covering him with a blanket. She walked out of his room, closing the door behind her.

- - -

Evan woke up on his bedroom floor and rubbed his face, memories from the previous night coming back. He scrambled for his phone and checked his messages.

2 messages from: Connor

Evan opened them up.

Hey

Meet me at the park today? Around 10?

Evan looked at the time on his phone, 9:12.

Yeah I'll be there

- - -

Evan got to the park about fifteen minutes early and sat on a swing, waiting for Connor. He leaned against the chain and pulled on a loose string on his jacket. Connor walked up, his classic black hoodie unzipped and flowing in the slight breeze. He sat on the swing next to Evan and smiled slightly.

"Hey, Ev."

"Hey."

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I just... I needed to think a bit."

"Think? About what?"

Connor sighed and gently took Evan's hand in his. "Did I ever tell you I'm gay?" Evan shook his head, eyes wide. "Well, surprise. Your best friend is gay."

Evan pulled at the string on his jacket. "As long as we're discussing sexuality, I-I think I'm bi," Evan whispered. Connor's stomach flipped a bit. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

Connor looked at Evan's blue eyes and leaned closer to him. "Is this okay?" He whispered. Evan nodded. Connor softly, quickly pressed his lips to Evan's. "I'm gay for you, Evan Hansen," he whispered.