Max
"Max, Hey! Listen to me!" I jerk up with a sudden jolt of adrenaline, it takes a minute to figure out where I am. Chloe sits beside me in the truck, her face covered in worry. "Max, are you okay?" I stare at her for a moment, not sure what she means, I groan, trying to find words. "You must have had some dream.. I could hear you." I cough up the stale air in my lungs and wince.
It feels so cold in this truck, I reach for the heater but can't quite reach it, Chloe helps. Cranking the heat for me. I can hear cars driving on the highway beside us, then I realize we are pulled over. I shake my head out. Had I been that loud, my dream couldn't have been that bad... I think? I can't remember what I had dreamt about.
Chloe rests her hand on my shoulder for what must be the 200th time this car ride, I shrug it off smoothly. "I'm fine." I say, talking before she can even open her mouth. Chloe frowns, "Max-" She starts. but I cut her off, "let's just drive. Chloe." She looks hesitant, but then grips wheel and pulls back onto the highway.
I don't know where that jet of hostility had come from. But I feel almost empty, the past few hours or days have been crushing, I don't want to talk to anybody until I can sort myself out.
Of course I won't tell Chloe what's wrong with me, I don't want her to get involved in my own shit. The guilt is ripping me apart from the inside out, it's almost too strong to handle. I killed people. they didn't deserve it, that town died because of me, because of the death and destruction I caused, and that didn't stop. And for what? Just to ride off into the sunset with Chloe?
Is she worth all that?
I can't get that thought out of my head, Dream Max pried that into my head when I passed out before the storm. She said those words and I can't get that out. I feel guilty about thinking it, how can I say that? Chloe is my friend, my partner in crime. Or maybe my hellraiser.
Somewhere off in the distance thunder rumbles, my throat tightens.
My fingers begin to numb as sleep pulls at my limbs, but my thoughts keep me just at the surface, Arcadia Bay didn't deserve what I did to it, no one deserves what I did, not even Frank or Nathan or-
But Chloe did.
No, no. That's not true, the voice in my head won't stop. But think about it, she never cared. It was your power Max, you mean nothing to her. The truck is suddenly very hot. I shuffle in my spot and my back is sweaty, the cut above my forehead reopened again. I almost forgot about it somehow, during our escape to Chloe's truck. A piece of debris was flung from the storm and sliced my face. Karma I guess. With everything else happening, it kind of faded from my mind.
The voice is quiet, as of now, at least. Chloe's old truck shudders and groans as she pulls over to a gas station, when she gets out, Chloe kicks the side of the truck. "Piece of shit." She grumbles, and pries the lid to the gas tank open. I slide out of the car too, slowly, letting my legs get a good stretch. Chloe certainly treats her car like shit, just like treats you like shit. I shake my head hard. Why do I think these things, I know they aren't true. Right? I can't stop myself. I stretch achingly. I don't know exactly how long we were in the car, but the sun is starting to rise. Or set.
I've barely been conscious during the car ride, slipping in and out of sleep, my blood feels like its made of syrup, and my bones lead. I don't know if we have been driving for hours or days. I can't think with the thick blanket of haze covering my mind, Chloe's voice sounds far away, like my ears are below water and she's standing just above the surface. "Max." Her voice crystallizes, I flick my eyes to meet hers. "Hm?" I hum absently. I'm now focused on how the sun is shining off Chloe's head, the perfect photo...
"You look like hell," she states, lighting up a cigarette while putting the gas knob into the tank. "Gee, thanks." I answer, giving her a look. "Hey, you're not supposed to be smoking here," I state. Chloe frowns but keeps smoking anyway. I have always hated that habit of hers, but I never bothered to tell her to stop. They're her lungs, I guess.
We stand in silence while the gas pumps, I look at the slowly rising sun, and Chloe stares at me. I try to avoid her gaze, but she just won't stop staring. I meet her gaze, "what?" I ask, she only smirks. "I wasn't kidding when I said you look like shit Max." I frown at her from across the car and she smirks more, almost shit-eating. I stare at her, how can she be joking right now? Arcadia is gone, and it's my fault.
Chloe looks at me, her eyes glossy. Not in a crying sort of way, but she looks concerned. I shrug it off and look away. We both stand in silence. I know she's trying to cheer me up, make me feel better. But I don't think I'm ready to feel better, and Chloe's efforts feel exhausting.
Our silence ends with the loud click of the gas pump stopping, Chloe regains her senses and pulls the pump free. "Get in, I'll be back soon." She digs her hands in her pockets and starts towards the gas station. I comply and shuffle into the truck. True to her word, Chloe is back in no time with snacks, she throws them onto the bench but I refuse to eat. "I'm just not hungry." I shrug quietly, after short argument Chloe gives up and we start back on the highway.
"Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's wrong, Max?" Chloe asks after a few minutes of silent driving. I shake my head, "Tired that's all." Chloe doesn't belive me, I can tell, but she doesn't bother to push me further and nods, "get some rest, only a few hours now."
Oh I know she wants to help, looking at her form the corner of my eye. She seems tense, her shoulders taught, arms straight with both hands on the wheel. She almost always drives one handed. Her cap is pulled lower than usual. I know she's trying to help. But having the person who I caused my trauma for trying to help me, isn't very appealing.
I rest my head on the truck window, feeling the cool glass against my skin. I stare at a sign as it passes.
Seattle, 140 Mi
Our journey has only begun and I already know, I won't make it out alive.
YOU ARE READING
Hellions of Arcadia
Fanfiction"If you died, would anyone care? Would they really care? Maybe, they'd cry for a day. But let's be honest, no one would give a shit, they wouldn't. That's who you are. That's what you are. You're nothing to no one." A continuation of the Sacrifice A...
