Persuade ― Kim Jongdae

Please

A hand in the pocket of her cardigan and the other slightly swinging around the bouquet of sunflowers, a soft smile appeared on her face as she stood still in front of the tall white building — the hospital.

She looked back down to the flowers she held tightly, she was suggested to get daisies or peonies but she turned the suggestion down and brought sunflowers. It carried a deeper meaning for both Jongdae and her and she wanted him to know how much he means to her.

"Let's see how this sun reacts to receiving another sun," she shook her head at her own statement and made her way slowly to his room.

Upon arriving at his door, she read the name written and gave a soft knock. She heard him faintly allowing her to come in. Gently she slid the door open and greeted the lad who had his back facing the door, probably not wanting to interact with anyone who comes in.

"Hello Jongdae," her voice made his soft gaze to the window turn wide as he tried to process the fact she would come when he told her to stay back. His was frozen in his pose.

"I know, you told me not to worry and focus on myself first. But the thing is, knowing all too well the feeling of needing something to hold onto, I'm sure you have the same yearning as well," she spoke with a very gentle, warm tone. A tone she had always been receiving from him.

"I'll be in the garden outside, I'll wait until you feel alright to come out," she walked towards him and gently caressed his arm before making her way to the garden.

Hearing her footsteps faint away, his stiff muscles relaxed and he slowly turned and stared at the door. He let out a sigh before laying straight on the bed, looking dead straight into the ceiling.

"I never thought you'd be more me than I am."

—

She sat on the bench with legs crossed and had the flowers on her lap. The tranquillity of the atmosphere had calmed her down from her anxiousness of thinking of ways to persuade Jongdae to let her be the person he can lean onto.

As she was getting lost in her thoughts with the soft winds carrying away her worries one by one and replacing it with her favourite moments with Jongdae, she didn't notice how Jongdae was looking at her from afar.

His heart was heavy but the view of her never failed to not make him smile. To think she pushed her problems aside for a moment to be the stronger one, his eyes were starting to get teary.

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he took slow, small steps towards her. He sat next to her and tilted his head, resting on her shoulder.

"You really thought that was the best option to go with?" she questioned him, not really expecting an answer out of him. Placing a hand on his hand she caressed the back of his hand, "You don't have to answer, I know you well enough to know why you wanted it to be that way."

"But Jongdae, it doesn't have to be that way. Yes, I may have a long way to go or many the solution will never exist but I've felt better than before," she tapped his hand before turning it around and placing the flowers in his grasp.

He pushed his head away from her and leaned back to the bench as he stared at the flowers, "Sunflowers... you do have a liking for the idea of brightness and warmth huh?"

"That is only because you thought me the beauty of it," she stood up and walked to the edge of the garden. Placing her hands on the railing, she rested her head on her hand as she watched the view of the busy city.

Jongdae followed behind her steps and rested his back against the railing, his gaze moving from the flower to her. The sun shined on her, radiating her with the colour of the flower he was holding. The sight made the heavy feeling of guilt slowly fade away, "Now I think I have to crown the title 'of as bright as the sun' to you."

"You'll always be the sun, Jongdae. Nothing can change that," she turned to look at him, smiling, assuring him that nothing would change.

"You can't be so sure of that. I'm already at the end of the sunset," he stared at the sky, not wanting to have his weaken gaze fade away the smile that she had.

"I'll try to prove it to you," she closed her eyes slowly, thinking back to his words that gave her strength before.

"And how would you do that?" he questioned her, still unsure of letting her placing his worries on top of what she already had.

"Because I'll be your moon. The moon that reflects the sun's rays at night. Whenever your sun has set and the night gets dark and cold, the moon will guild you and provide the small warmth to keep you going until dawn comes," she replied, pushing herself away from the railing and with small steps, she stood in front of him.

He turned to look at her and they stared at each other for a moment before she smiled, "And because... Kim Jongdae, I'm your only weakness."

❏❏❏

So, it's been about 2 years and 2 months since I started this and it took me so so so long to finish this. Probably because most of the times I updated this because I suddenly felt like it or wanting to find comfort by pushing out my emotions and 'persuading' myself through this book.

I'll be honest, this book had mostly just me trying to feel better about myself and pretending that I had someone to hold onto me or having someone to hold on like how 'she' had Jongdae with her.

To clarify, Jongdae was never really the one that changed her but he was the one who helped her to see a better her. She had to find the way out of the forest she was lost in by herself but he had always been there to help her not get lost once again.

This really didn't have any plot but I'll always be proud of this because this has been a bit of a clear representation of me. And the thought of very warm Jongdae makes me absolutely happy.

I'm really thankful for those who had stayed with this book for so long. I'm sorry I made you wait ; - ;

I'm grateful that this book managed to be an enjoyable read. Thank you for staying with me on this journey. Thank you for the love this book as received.

May the sun shines for you just like how Jongdae shines for her.

Love,
– Lily