My Professor is an Eyesore

Lesson 0

Lesson 0
Syllabus

Minsan napapaisip na rin ako na:

· Ano kayang feeling kapag may asawa na ko?

· Is he handsome? Well, he needs to be!

· Would he be loyal to our marriage?

· Then what would be his work? Well, it's quite an issue because I'm rich. Ehem.

· Sweet kaya siya? He needs to! And I deserve a queen-treatment

· Ilang taon kaya ang age gap namin? 1? 2? 10? 20? 30?! Please, ayaw ko ng 4M (Matandang Mayamang Madaling Mamatay)!

· Suplado kaya siya? Ay nako, he better not be! I'm gonna cut him off into pieces!

· So ilang taon ba ako mag-aasawa? 22? 27? 30? 45? Or 59?!

· Aalagaan niya ba ko? Or nambubugbog kaya sya? Ayaw ko maging battered wife! Sa beauty kong eto? Like hello! I'm gonna turn him into a dead meat before he even hurts me.

· Would he love me or - Cheska, dear. Natural! Nagpakasal kayo eh! Mamahalin niyo ang isa't isa niyan for sure!

· Ilan ang magiging kids namin? Twins kaya? 2? 3? 4? Or even more than 4? OMG. And how frequent are we gonna do the you-know-what part -

Ay wait, bakit ito ang iniisip ko? Nanunuod pa ako ng make-up tutorial a? Bakit biglang pag-aasawa ang inisip ko? I am only 19 years old!

Well ang life span nating mga tao ay 75 and it depends whether you are living the healthy way or not. So imagine, if I marry this young then...

75-19=56

OMG. Na-calculate ko! Gumana ang nerve cells ko! Pwede na akong maging mathematician! Okay. Just kidding. Duh. I suck at Math.

Pero wait, 56 years? As in 56 years? As in 50 plus 6? As in 60 minus 4? Di nga? 56 years ko siyang makakasama? It's so boring and what if boring din yung mapapangasawa ko? Isn't it so super boring pa? No fuckin' way.

But maybe those 56 years will be reduced unless we have a divorce.

Ay grabe naman this girl, kanina pag-aasawa ang iniisip ngayon naman divorce? Ano ba 'tong mga iniisip ko? As if ikagaganda ko naman ang pag-iisip ng pag-aasawa.

Makapasok na nga at baka ma-late pa ako sa 1st day of class ngayon. You know, gusto kong mag-show off. Fresh (fresh talaga akala mo karne at isda) from Italy yung outfit ko ngayon. Signature clothes 'to at branded. Pak na pak. Haha.

Ay ang daldal ko talaga, wait. May nakausling buhok sa perfect bun ko. Kainis. OMG. Lalagyan ko lang ng Vitress para shiny at hindi umusli. Wait, hindi perfect yung paglagay ko ng eyeliner sa left eye ko. Fix this. Kakapalan ko pa pala ng unti yung pagka-define sa eyebrows ko. Fix that.

Hmm, I saw something on my forehead. "Oh my gosh! Nooooo!" I gasped. I have a pimple! Dapat pumunta muna ako sa facial center before going to school. I can't stand having this little eewie on my forehead! Baka mag-reproduce! Baka dumami! Baka kumalat sa buong face ko tapos - magbabaku-bako na yung mukha ko. DON'T EVER THINK OF THAT, CHESKA! Okay, am I going to Dr. Belo? Or to Dr. Calayan?

Ughhh. I must go after school na lang. I'll just conceal this na lang. Pardon my vanity ha? Pero eew pa rin talaga e. I feel ashamed with this - ugh, pimple. Lagi naman akong naghihilamos ha? Hindi naman ako nagkulang o nagskip ng skincare routine ko!

Maybe this is because of thinking about pag-aasawa. Damn my thoughts. Mamaya I have plans after classes. Go directly to a facial center. And pupunta na rin kong salon, I wanna have some treatment for my hair since may umuusli na baby hairs. Magpapa-manicure and pedicure na rin ako. Plus, yung eyelashes and eyebrows ko ipapaayos ko lang. For sure may laman ang ATM ko, dapat lang.

Gotta leave for school sistahs! Gotta put my sunglasses on kahit di naman mainit. Just for a cool entrance lang. Grin.