My Professor is an Eyesore

Lesson 25

Lesson 25

Discernments

"Best, siya na mismo ang nagsabi na subukan niyo, why not try nga?" sabi ni Sharpay matapos kong sabihin lahat nang nangyari sa amin ni RR mula noong nakita ko sila ng ex niya sa Korean restaurant habang kasama ko si Neil hanggang doon sa mga sinabi niya sa akin noong nasa sinehan kami kahapon. (Well, I did not include the part when we kissed in the dining area.)

Pagkatapos naming manuod ng sine, sinamahan niya lang ako mag-shopping. Surprisingly, we did not argue the rest of the day. I think our setup is slightly awkward as we used to fight then afterwards we're going to work on a relationship.

"I know, I know. Pero natatakot ako," ani ko sabay sipsip sa frappe ko. Nasa coffee shop kami ngayon ni Sharpay matapos ko siyang tawagan para magkita kami ngayon. Gusto ko talagang may makausap na ako dahil mixed feelings na talaga ako kay RR.

"Ano bang kinatatakutan mo? Na lumalim ang feelings mo sa kanya? Isn't it good since mag-asawa naman kayo?"

"Good if reciprocated. Paano kung ako lang yung ma-fall?"

"Pero siya na ang nagsabi na susubukan niyo nga 'di ba? Meaning, his side will try well. Hindi ka mag-iisa. Mabuti kung sinabi niya 'subukan mo, Cheska.' But no, best, ikaw na nagsabi na sabi niya 'subukan natin.' Trust him," aniya.

"Pagkatiwalaan? But he lied to me! Lalo na noong tinanong ko siya kung sino ang imi-meet niya after school," I replied as I recount that memory.

"Baka sinabi niya 'yun para hindi ka mag-overthink, best."

"But it's easy to say na he is going to meet his ex to end their relationship. Maiintindihan ko naman 'yun." Maybe? I am not actually sure.

My bestfriend just sighed. "You have a point. Pero sino nga ba ang ex niya?"

"I don't know! Hindi raw mahalaga na malaman ko kung sino. Past is past na raw."

"Ang sketchy naman niyan," she narrowed her eyes. "Why couldn't he simply tell who's the girl? Hmm..." she added as she placed her right hand below her chin.

"I know right? I'm really stressed out, girl. Because if he wants to work this out, I should know everything."

"Sa bagay, pero I think we should respect if he does not want to disclose the past. Maybe he wants to focus on the present - sa inyong dalawa. Malay mo wala na talagang koneksyon ang past niya sa inyo." Sa bagay may punto naman siya.

Ang tangi ko na lang na nasambit ay, "Sana nga gano'n."

"'Wag ka na lang mag-overthink, best," sabi niya para pagaanin ang loob ko, "it will work, okay? Basta kayong dalawa."

Ako naman ang napabuntong-hininga. "Sana talaga."

"Best naman oh! Don't worry na, okay? Isa pa, alalahanin mo yung mga projects natin na due next Wednesday!" I know she's saying this to divert my attention and it is effective. Nalipat naman ang stress ko sa schoolworks.

* * *

"I'm home!" sigaw ko pagkarating ko sa unit. RR is not in the living room. Kaninang pagkaalis ko nakahiga lang siya sa couch habang nagbabasa ng libro about leadership. I checked our room but he's not also there. Damn, so nasaan siya? I checked my phone but he did not leave a message on his whereabouts.

I am beginning to freak out because of the stress. Everything is now bothering me. Working out my relationship with RR without having previous relationship experiences. Adding to that pa is his past which is still vague to me. And of course, I would never forget the overwhelming number schoolworks I am going to deal with tonight.