Never the Same

Twenty-Eight

Ryder was standing there, drenched in water, his messy brown hair was all over the place. His emerald green eyes stared at my plain blue ones, then at Matt, his eyes twitch with jealousy for a second but then looks at me. He shakes the water out of his hair like a wet dog and starts walking over to me and Matt's booth. "Aspen. I've been looking everywhere for you," Ryder says softly and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You weren't there for me Ryder. You never are, you're here now, chasing after me, but I've moved on with my life. I've learned to fend for myself and I don't like it. It's scary, but you just left," I say softly and stare at the almost empty mug of coffee.

"I keep fucking up and I don't know why. Maybe it's the way that you make me feel and I've never felt this before Aspen. You don't understand that. Nobody's ever meant so much to me that I'm afraid I'll lose them and then I overthink and I end up losing you. I've done that a lot but things are gonna change." He puts his hand under my chin and forces me to look at that perfect face that makes me melt in my shoes.

"Ryder. People don't change." I force myself to stop looking at him and go back to staring at the coffee mug.

"If you want me to cuddle with you and watch stupid chick flicks then I will. If you want to wake up by someone kissing you softly then I'll be there. If you want someone to tell you that you're perfect 24/7 then I will. If you want me to intertwine our hands to make a perfect fit, I'll do that. If you want someone to play with your hair, I'll do that. If you want someone that will kiss you goodnight, I'll do that. If you want me to tell you that I love you at random times, I will. If you want me to take cute pictures with you, I'll do that. If you want a pair of arms around your waist, they'll be mine. I'll always tell you that I'll be here tomorrow. I'll tell you I love your every flaw, but you don't have one. If you want someone to show you off to the world, I'm here. If you want someone to stand outside your house with a boom box blaring your favorite song, I'll do that." He's out of breath by the end of his speech and I realize that I don't want anyone else to tell me.

"Ryder. You're fucking crazy." I cup his face and smile at him. I'd like to think of someone wanting to spend forever with me but it just can't happen, I'm just boring old Aspen. Nothing special.

"For you." He crashes his lips on mine, he kissed me like I was his oxygen and he was running out of air. He kissed me like I was fine wine and he wanted to get drunk. He kissed me like he meant forever. A forever with me and Ryder, always a new adventure. I hesitantly kissed him back for a couple seconds before pulling away from his soft lips. This boy knew how to kiss.

"Why me," I ask softly, I was positive he didn't hear me but he smirked and brings his lips to my jawline, leaving a small trail of kisses up to my ear.

"Because your my soul mate. I can imagine spending my whole life with you, a whole entire life of adventures. I can picture little aspens running around and asking me to put them on my shoulders." I smile at this and I can picture it, but it looks like a little Daniel on my hip and an older Ryder kissing my cheek.

"Forever is an awfully long time baby boy." I lean my head into his chest and sigh softly.

"But I wouldn't mind spending it with you baby girl." He wraps an arm around my waist and intertwines our fingers together. I see Effy eying Ryder up and down but she sees me and quickly goes back to her magazine.

"You have a admirer." I point a finger towards Effy and he just chuckles, I lean my back against his front and feel his chest rise and fall.

"I'll just go," Matt finally speaks, oh yeah. Matt's here to, I quickly unwind my fingers from Ryder's and look at Matt.

"You don't have to. Me and Ryder will go. Bye thank you so much." I hug Matt tightly and give Effy the death glare before walking out into the pouring rain. I sigh, I forgive Ryder way too easily, I don't know why. Yes I do, he always says the right things to make me fall even harder for him.

"You okay," Ryder asks when we get into his car. No, things aren't okay Ryder. I love you and I know it's always gonna go in a cycle where I love you and were perfect, them someone comes in and ruins it, you mess up and I always forgive you. We don't get progress in this relationship. I feel like I'm trapped in this relationship.

"We need to break the cycle," I say softly and leans my head against the car window. The window was ice cold on my hot face and it cooled me down. I start to hum a tune, no tune in particular.

"What cycle?" Were now on the highway to get to my apartment, Austin will be there, he starts work at four and goes to one. I know this cause well, we maybe went out one time. Only once!

"This one, where you mess up and apologize and forgive you. I do that too easily." In the long run, I don't know if this will be enough to keep me and Ryder together. We just need to have more cute moments then dramatic ones. But our relationship feeds off of drama. I don't know what to do.

"Then we need to break it. Easy." He looked so relaxed when he said that and it kinda hurt.

"No actually. It's not, it's really hard because our relationship feeds off of drama. I don't like it but that's what happens. Girls just love you." I huff and cross my arms over my chest and out my bare feet on his dashboard, throwing my heels in the back seat.

"You don't think that boys don't love you Aspen? Austin, Taylor, Connor. That's only three but you don't see the ways boys look at you. You're so naive baby girl." He got off the highway and parks the car off the side of the road. He looks me in the eyes for any sign of weakness. I don't think there was any because he brought his hand up to my chin.

"But, I just don't wanna lose you." My voice was soft, like how it normally is when I stare into his emerald eyes that could make any girl melt.

"You won't we've been through hell and back. I'm not gonna lose you and you're not gonna lose me. We're gonna save our relationship. Right here. Right now." His voice was very demanding and it scared me. He lightly put his lips on my neck, causing shivers to go down my back and sending a light moan out of my mouth. I could tell Ryder was satisfied because he smirked against my neck before lightly nibbling at the skin. I bit my lip forcefully to keep a moan out of my mouth, I hold Ryder's head into my neck. All y'all need to know is that one thing lead to another.

******

RYDERS POV.

I wake up the next day at one to find myself sleeping on the couch without a shirt on and a perfect Aspen laying on top of me, sleeping. I smile softly and rub my eyes, I position myself correctly so Aspen falls off of me and onto the floor, landing with a thud. She screams as she hits the floor and falls on her butt, at his point I'm dying of laughter. "That wasn't funny," she mumbles and rubs her eyes with her hand, she looked like a lost puppy. I noticed she was wearing a Eeyore t-shirt, blue plaid pajama pants and her hair was in a bun at the top of her head.

I remember I drove to Aspens apartment and she fell asleep in the car. I remember saving our relationship, not to brag or anything but I was the one that saved our relationship. I remember carrying Aspen up to her apartment and setting her in her bed. I left her in her dress because I didn't want her to feel violated. I threw on my plaid pajama pants and fell asleep on the couch... I don't remember Aspen falling asleep on me.

"When did you change? And sleep on me? I don't remember either of those things," I say and put my arm out for her to take.

"I got up in the middle of the night and I was in a wet dress so my bed was wet, I changed and removed my makeup, I put my hair up, then I found you on my couch and I laid on top of you. You didn't wake up and I just fell asleep on you. You're cute when you sleep." She smiles and takes my hand. I try to pull her up but she pulls me down with her and she fell on her back, I lock my arms so I'm a couple inches from her face. She was laying underneath me and I was above her, I hear her gulp. I chuckle and start to lean down, when my lips are centimeters away from hers, someone knocks on the door.

"I got it," I say and groan, this better be important because I'm not gonna waste my time with Aspen on someone that had the wrong room. I get up and walk to the door, I look back to see Aspen standing up and straightening her pajamas out, I smile at how cute she is. I open the door to see a red eyed Taylor, he was pacing around and tugging at his hair.

"What are you doing here," I ask him, god, he shouldn't be here. It takes every part of me not to punch his face in.

"I need to talk to Aspen is she here," Taylor said with a raspy voice. As if on cue, Aspen comes up and wraps her arms around my waist, she peeps her head over my shoulder and her whole body gets tense.