When Phil attempted to take off my hoodie, I panicked. It's not that I don't want what he was implying, but I'm scared. His mouth is currently hanging open at the sight of my body, and I've told him he can ask any questions. I know I'll probably lie a bit, or just not answer, but I want him to know. Something about him gives me the feeling that he cares, that he might not be disgusted by me. I have hope, something of which I've lacked my whole life.
"Well, I'll start with easier questions, then- uh,"
"Okay," I say. No question is going to be easy to answer, but it's better than starting off with the more difficult ones. "Ask a-away."
"Have those boys hurt you before?"
"Yes," I answer bluntly.
He gasps, looking at me with perspicacity; like he cares. He does care. It's like he wants to help, and I'd give the world for that.
"H- how much? When?"
"It happens- well, happened a lot. Once we started hanging out, it happened less. Before then it was almost every day, and it's happened s-since year 7, when I was, like, 11 or something. But it's fine, I was used to it with my parents."
"Fuck, Dan, that's not fine!" He shouts. Is he mad at me? He's going to leave, crap. He thinks I'm a freak. "That shouldn't have happened, you didn't- you don't deserve any of this shit!"
He cares. I need to stop forgetting that.
"O- okay."
"I'm not going to let it happen again, I swear."
We hug, but he's cautious, being that I'm currently shirtless and covered in scars. Does he not want to hug me properly because I'm a freak? I pull him closer, and he goes along with it, until pulling away.
"Okay, so, wh-why are you so skinny?"
"I'm not."
"Yes, Dan, you are- if you can't see that, then- then, fuck."
Does he really think I'm skinny? Am I too skinny? What if he hates me now because he thinks I'm too skinny? I don't want Phil to hate me.
"I- I guess not buying food saved money, cause I didn't have a lot, and-"
"Danny, can you promise me something?"
"Depends what."
"Eat, please. I love you, and I care about you, and I want you to be happy, and this- this isn't happy."
"I'll try."
"And you'll succeed."
"We'll see."
Not I'll see, we'll see, because I love him, and he loves me, and I care about him, and he cares about me.
YOU ARE READING
TOO GOOD ; Phan
Fanfiction"Too good to be good for me, Too bad that that's all I need." //Some chapter will have TW written at the top if I decide they need a trigger warning// [COMPLETED]
