Thoughts of Death

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“Wait, what do you mean by you are no longer humans?” I question.

Director gives me an apologetic look. “I can’t tell you more than that, 85. All HQ agents are no longer human after they join us. You will be too if you still decide to join us. Have you ever wondered why you can’t find or see a HQ agent any where until you came here?”

I shrug. “Hunters can spy on werewolves without getting caught too,” I mumble. “But I still want to be a HQ agent. Is it possible that I can at least see them from time to time?”

“After your training, yes, you can. You just must not be seen by any of them,” Director replies. “Oh, please don’t let 86 know of our conversation.”

“He doesn’t even know that I’m here to see you,” I assure him.

The conversation with Director keeps repeating in my head.

Before I join to be a HQ agent, I must make sure that these hybrids are dead.

12 and Nate are sleeping soundly while I stay awake, thinking of things.

Even if Director thinks bringing Cassie into the situation is a good idea, I am strongly against it.

She’s thirteen, for crying out loud! She should be spending years with Rick before he dies.

If he even dies. I’m still unsure if the dreams are real or not. They feel real. My niece and nephew. Cassie from the future. Rick’s and my death.

I wonder if Director knows whether witches exist. Are there any other supernatural creatures out there? All this time, I thought vampires and werewolves are the only supernatural that exists.

Now, I learn that HQ agents are supernatural as well.

When I join them, will I be supernatural too? What will I be? Will I be able to see Nate and Cassie and Gwen and –

“Mel, are you still awake?” Nate whispers.

“We should not speak of our names in front of 12,” I whisper back to Nate.

Nate stays silent before sighing out loud. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

I frown at his voice. It doesn’t sound like him at all. “Are you okay, bro?”

“I’m worried for Gwen. She doesn’t sound like her at all on the phone when we spoke just now…” Nate says. Since it is dark, I can imagine him frowning.

“I’m sure it’s nothing too bad,” I assure him. “Maybe she just has some duties to do. That’s all.”

“Perhaps…” Nate says, still not convinced. “She also knows that I’m not telling her anything about tonight’s gathering. I can’t risk it.”

I nod, even though I’m aware he can’t see it. “We can’t tell anyone. 12, you and I can handle it ourselves.”

“What if our plan doesn’t work, sis? The hybrids will rule the nation in weeks if not months. It’ll be an apocalypse. Anyone might die or turn into those vicious beasts. From what 12 told me earlier, vampires are dangerous in a very different way from werewolves. I don’t want anyone to die and – ”

“Bro?”

“Yes, sis?”                           

“Shut up.”

He did shut up. After a while, I still can’t sleep. I’m too awake to fall asleep.

“Nate, when I die, please don’t forget me,” I say, getting emotional.

“Mel, what the hell are you talking about?” Nate demands and switch on his lamp to look at me. I can’t help but cry at the fact that I might die. There are things I want to do! I want to live my life!

“I just – I just want to tell you that I love you, Nate,” I say pathetically. If the braver Melanie is next to me, I would have been slapped a thousand times across the face.

“Mel, please don’t tell me you’re planning to commit suicide,” Nate begs, putting both his hand on my face. He looks terrified.

“No… It’s just that… I feel like I’m going to go… Very soon,” I tell him, not a lie but not a truth either. I can’t tell him of my dreams.

Nate pulls me into a hug while I cry into his shirt. I felt like we were ten again. When Director and his fellow werewolf hunters came to deliver the news of our parent’s death, Nate would hug me while I cried.

“Don’t think of that, Mel. You won’t die. You will not die. I can’t live without you,” Nate whispers.

“You have Gwen,” I sob. “And then you’ll forget about me. I will be nothing but a name in time.”

Nate lets me cry on him for a few more minutes until I get a hold of myself.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, nodding at his wet t-shirt.

“Don’t fret about it. What happened? Why did you suddenly think of death?” Nate questions.

I sigh out loud. “I’m just afraid,” I tell him.

Nate doesn’t look convinced. He knows that I’ve been keeping a lot of things from him. “Okay… But if…”

“Since neither of us can’t sleep, why don’t we make the plan now?” I suggest, cutting him off.

Nate lets go of me. “Sure. I’ll go grab some coffee. You look for a map of Meadow Falls and the country.”

Author's Note

Again, I'm sorry for the late update. My stupid brother got me grounded along with him so my Internet hours are limited. *cries* Oh, and the book I'm working on for Wattpad Prize 2014 is called 'Searching for the Loch Ness Monster' although it's not finished yet. It's hilarious and stupid. Once I upload it, I'll make sure I'll tell inform you guys about it. 

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-M.

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