Song of the chapter: Sloppy Seconds -Watsky
**
I walked into the flower shop, my blood boiling and clouds of anger swirling in my head. I walked up to the counter where I got greeted by the most handsome man I've ever seen. His name tag read 'John'. I was close to a loss for words but my anger spoke for me. I slammed twenty dollars on the counter in front of him, which made him jump a bit.
"How do I passive-aggressively say 'fuck you' in flower?" I asked, my anger clearing a bit as I realized how weird this probably is. He chuckled lightly.
"Well, you need a bouquet of Geraniums for stupidity, Foxglove for insincerity, Meadowsweet for uselessness, yellow Carnations meaning 'you have disappointed me', and orange Lilies for hatred." He recited it like he had said this many, many times before.
"Great. Can you arrange that then have a like a little banner that says 'Fuck you'?" I asked which made him giggle. My heart felt light for a moment then it sank again when I remembered why I was making this bouquet in the first place. I started seeing red all over again. I sighed and rubbed my temples.
"So why are you trying to say fuck you in flower? Someone must have really pissed you off." He said with a light laugh as he continued finding the right flowers for my passive-aggressive bouquet.
"I caught my ex cheating on me with my best friend." I sighed, pushing my shades up. He looked up at me, sadness filling his eyes behind his thick, rectangular shades.
"I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to be cheated on. My ex boyfriend, his name is Karkat, cheated on me with his ex." John laughed a little but it was filled with hatred. "That was like.." He trailed off to think about it. "Maybe two years ago? I don't really care to remember him anymore." He shrugged and started arranging the bouquet.
"How did you get over it?" I asked, my voice small. John turned to look at me and he smiled slightly.
"I didn't. I suffered in silence while planning out ways to kill him." That got a laugh out of me. It's been days since I've even cracked a genuine smile. I knew something was going on with Jade and Sollux. I sighed and leaned against the counter.
"So.." I said, dragging the 'o' out for an uncomfortable period of time. "Would you like to get a drink with me when you're off work?" I then became shy, mentally punching the shit out of myself. John turned toward me, looking shocked as all hell.
"Really?" He sounded so surprised. It was cute. I did my usual dumb ass half smile and nodded.
"Yes. What time do you get off?"
"Eight." He mumbled, his cheeks turning as red as my shirt. "Oh, and your bouquet is done.." He trailed off, fidgeting with his hands. I looked at it and nodded. It looked beautiful then there was just a small banner saying 'FUCK YOU' in all caps. I loved it.
"Could you possible deliver it for me? I'd rather not see the little shit for a while." I asked, chuckling awkwardly and rubbing the back of my head.
"Of course! I'm gonna need her name though." John said, smiling wide before grabbing a piece of paper and a pen.
"Her name's Jade." I said, her name making me grit my teeth and clench my fists. John's eyes widened and he tilted his head.
"Jade Harley?" He asked and I nodded. Then he bursts out laughing. "That's my sister!" He yelled, bent over laughing. I raised a blonde eyebrow and shook my head.
"Your sister's a whore." I said before walking out of the door, the bell jingling behind me.
About an thirty minutes later as I'm sitting on my couch watching TV my phone rings and the caller ID says Jade with a little heart. I gotta change that. I decide to answer and I'm greeted with screaming.
"Dave what the fuck?! I thought you were way more mature than this bullshit but I guess I was wrong!" She yelled and I sighed.
"And I thought you weren't a skank but Rose was right, your body count is higher than your IQ." I replied calmly, which pissed her off even more.
"You're such a dick. Why can't you just grow up?!" She screamed into the receiver. I pulled my phone away from my ear and pinched the bridge of my nose. "And you invite my brother out for a drink? What kind of pig are you?!"
"Well your brother is way cuter than you are and I bet his asshole's tighter than your vagina will ever be. Goodbye Jade." I finished and hung up. She tried calling back like eight times but I eventually just blocked her number. I glanced at the clock and realized it was seven fifty. Shit. I jumped up, throwing on my leather jacket and shoes before running out the door to John's flower shop. Just as I got there is when he finished closing up. I sighed and smiled at him. "You ready for a fun night?" I asked and he nodded. We walked to the closest bar and I immediately ordered a straight shot of Jack while John got some girlish mixed drink. We spent about three hours buying each other shots and by the time it was 11:30 I was completely smashed. I couldn't remember my own name for an hour. When twelve rolled around John turned to me.
"Can we go back to your place?" He slurred and I nodded. I called a cab even though my apartment wasn't very far because I was shitfaced. I did not want to walk three blocks to my house. The cab came, dropped us off, and we stumbled up three flights of stairs to my shitty little apartment. I unlocked the door and grabbed John's hand, leading him to the couch. He laid down and I went to go make myself food. All of a sudden he got up super fast and ran around the apartment, looking for the bathroom. I grabbed his arm and lead him to the toilet where he immediately started hurling. I rubbed his back the entire time. When he was finally finished I lead him to my bedroom and tucked him in. I laid next to him and he cuddled into me. "You know, my sister used to talk about you like you were the worst person in the world." He mumbled into my arm. "But you're amazing. I've seen you everywhere and I've liked you for a while. I'm kind of glad you and Jade didn't work because maybe I can show you what real love feels like." He trailed off and, I think, fell asleep. I sighed and stared at my ceiling. Maybe this breakup will lead to something better, something greater. Someone that will truly love me. Like John. Maybe he will prove to me what real love feels like. With that last thought in my head I passed out next to the cutest, drunk man in the world.
