Please Stay (Kazer)

Family

Today was Christmas. It has been over a month since Jonathan died, and I have been doing a lot better. Even with that, there have been times where I feel numb or stuck in a place. I have been going to the therapist ever since my birthday, and it have help tremendously. I still am not sure, however, if I want to go back to the NHL or Chicago.

But today, I tried to push all of that type of thoughts out of my mind. I wanted to enjoy this Christmas with my family. They have helped me so much through this past month and a half.

I have seen couple of my sisters couple of time since the funeral, but this was going to be the first time that I see all three of them together. Plus they are bringing their guy friends so I get to look forward on striking fear in their hearts. There is no better present in the world than that.

"Patrick!" my sisters yelled as they barged in my room. They all jumped on the bed tackling me. I couldn't help but to laugh at that.

"Hey guys. I can tell that you didn't miss me at all."

"It's time to open presents!" Jackie said messing up my now extremely long hair. "And you definitely need another haircut. I think that we can cut it again today."

"But we are not doing it for free this time!" Jess said being all sassy.

"Oh, you're not," I said before I shoved her off my bed. She landed on the ground with a thud, and before she could get me back, Mom was in the doorway.

"Patrick Timothy!"

"Oh shit," I mumbled.

"Ooo, you're in trouble!" Erica sang before she ran out of the room with Jackie and Jess at her heels.

My mom then burst out laughing before she turns around and heads back downstairs. I take that as my cue to follow her because Christmas celebrations were about to happen. Before I left my room, however, I grabbed my hockey puck and shoved it carefully into my pocket.

Downstairs, Erica and her boyfriend, Peter, were sitting in one of the chairs together. Jess and her long time boyfriend, Logan, were sitting on the floor next to the presents. Jackie and her new boyfriend, Stephan I believe, was standing in the corner having a giggling conversation. All of my sisters seemed to be more than happy at this moment.

These was our normal spots no matter who our boyfriends were. I stopped myself before I sat on the love seat. That was where Jonny and I always sat. I almost couldn't sit there this year, so I took the last chair.

All four of us kids were in our own little worlds waiting for Mom and Dad to join us. They took forever doing whatever in the kitchen. I didn't mind since I took out the puck and started to flip it in my hands.

"Who's ready for presents?" my dad said with a huge smile when he walked into the room. My mom followed him with a huge plate of cookies of every type. I even saw raisins, Jonny's favorite type since it was the healthiest. No one in my family likes that type, but she would always make it for him.

"Don't worry, Dad," Jackie said walking over to the tree and the huge present pile. "I know my job as the youngest." She always hated this job, but it's her problem. I never had to do it since Erica was born so close after me that when we were old enough to do it, she got to do it instead.

Jackie made Stephan help her, which made things go faster, thankfully. Once we got a present, we instantly ripped it open. All of our presents were open before they sat down.

All of the presents were amazing, even though I didn't need any material thing. I only needed one thing, but no one now can get me it.

I started thinking of Jonny again. He always would get me some gag present since he never thought I needed anything. Last year he bought me a sugar cookie candle, but he would never let me burn it since he didn't trust me. Come on, I can be trusted.

My thoughts were disturbed from a ball of wrapping paper in my face. I picked up some of my and fired it at Jackie.

"Hey! I didn't do it!" she yelled as she joined in. She threw it at me as I threw one at Jess. Erica hid behind her boyfriend as she fired wrapping paper balls randomly. This was always a tradition that we did after opening all of our presents.

Soon my dad and sisters' boyfriends joined in, but my mom wouldn't. She was never one for our little shenanigans, but she loved to watched our close family bond.

Once our little war winded down, my mom looked scanned the debris. "Alright, you guys clean this up. I'm going to start cooking lunch." She got up to leave, but then she stopped and glanced at all of us. "And that includes everyone, even you Patrick."

"What?" I asked putting my hands up, but I knew exactly why she said that. I used to bribe my sisters to do my chores. She gave me her mom look until I said, "fine," and got up to start cleaning the mess up.

Once everything was cleaned up, my sisters and I bundled up to head outside. Their boyfriends didn't come out because I guess they wanted to talk to me.

We started to make snowmen when Jackie asked me, "So, how you been?"

"Better."

"Mom says that you are starting to work out again," Erica added as she was starting to roll the middle section.

I couldn't help but to laugh at that. They loved when I worked out for some reason. My sisters are weird. "Yeah, I have been."

"What about hockey?" Jackie asked as she gathered up a snowball for the head.

I only shrugged as I continued to roll the bottom.

"It would be cool to see you playing again," Jess spoke up from the snow angel that she made. "I know that it would be hard for you, but you loved it so much even before you met Jonny."

"I know, but I'm not sure that I can."

"We'll be there for you every step of the way," Erica stated. "No matter what way you pick, but..."

"You believe that I should at least try to go back." All three of them nodded. "But what if..."

"You can't do that to yourself, Patty. That's what kills you more than anything," Jackie said as she threw the 'head' at my face.

Instantly I grabbed a snowball, and from there things escalated. This fight was way better than before since we didn't have to clean up anything. When we was done, we continued our snowman, having an amazing talk.

There was one thing that I gathered from this talk. Coming back to hockey doesn't seem as bad as it did before, but it still was going to extremely hard.

~~~~There is only one more chapter. Patrick have gone a long way in the last couple of months, and I hope that all of you are enjoying this story.