Please Stay (Kazer)

Despair

 I don't know how long I was sitting there, but it was long enough that exhaustion started to settle in. While holding Jonny's limp hand, I slowly fell asleep until there was a wailing beep.

I jumped up realizing that it was the monitor that went off earlier, and like before we was all pushed out of the room.

Oh, this can't happen again! I thought trying to think clearly, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't. I loved Jonny too much to think clearly.

Jonny can't die. He just can't!

I didn't cry either because either I was in a state of shock or I cried all my tears already.

My body felt numb in the silent world that surrounded me. I'm not used to quiet places, expectedly during hockey season. Most times, I'm somewhere with someone, excluding Jonny, from our rowdy team that there was never a quiet moment.

I thought breaking my collar bone hurt, but that wasn't anything compared to how I'm feeling at this moment. The pain seems to grow and grow every single lengthy moment.

My eyes watched the door from my old seat. Every time somebody passed I thought they was going to come in with some news, but no one came in.

This time around, the clock couldn't even be heard. The room was dead and quiet, but my mind sprinted an unknown length race.

"I'll never leave you, Patty," I remembered Jonny said that to me when he left me at rehab. "But you need help, and I can't give it to you. You are strong, so show it. You are smart. I tried everything to help you control your drinking, but I can't do that anymore. I won't leave you, but try. I love you and miss you already. Just, please get better so we can have a better life."

People come and go, but true love can never be forgotten.

Jonny is my true love and I will never stop loving him no matter what the doctor says whenever she enters this room. She probably will go out to eat before she comes in here just so I can go more crazy.

I can't give up on him, not yet. He's a fighter, he can make it through anything. I know he can, so Jonny just do it.

But if he is really dead, can I...

NO, he's alive! My mind screamed at myself like it was the only way that I'll ever believe that fact. I can't just give up on him!

How long has it been? I don't even know, but it was 11:48 when I finally looked up at the unusually silent clock.

So many things have happened today, I can't lose Jonny today as well.

I could yell right now at the doctor to get in her. I need to know what was going on with him. I need to know that he's alright.

I love you, Jonny, so much!

Why does this have to happen?

I can't lose him!

Why isn't he fighting?

Has he finally given up on us?

I need him!

I can't live without him!

I love you, Jonny! Come back! Fight for US!

Just then I heard the door squeak open, and the female doctor from earlier entered the room looking at her file. All five of us stood up waiting for the news, but she didn't have to speak. We all knew it from her sad face expression.

"I'm so sorry... but Mr. Toews's heart stopped. Everything that we tried didn't work. We couldn't do anything more."

I couldn't help but to laugh at that. "You are joking right. This is all some sick joke."

She looked at me with heartbreak in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Mr. Kane, but it's not a joke." Then she turned to... his parents and started to talk about where they need to go to get everything settled now that he's... well dead.

I looked at the time; 11:59. Well, this day was shitty as hell.

Hey guys, I'm so sorry. This fate has been haunting me since I had a dream. Yes, I literally had a dream about this, but that's better than where I come up most of my stories at (Church). There is more to come with this story, so please don't be so mad or sad about this that you quit this story. When I was writing Chapter Seven, I had to do some searching, and I ended up on imagines of Jonny and my YouTube mix decided it was the right time to play Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw. That combination plus all of my guilt made me cry for a solid thirty minutes. My guilt have been in overload since I got multiple comments saying that Jonny can't die (I love comments so please don't stop). I hope that none of you hate me that much, and remember Jonny is alive and playing hockey in the real world. Have a good day, and I'll be reading all and any comments, so please break my heart more (Joking about breaking my heart not about anything else mainly).

By the way I have finished writing this story. It will have nineteen chapters, and I hope that you continue reading this story. I will update it on every Saturday until the story is complete.