Please Stay (Kazer)

Goodbye

Days passed. I really didn't know how this happened since I was too busy blowing all my money on alcohol. My parents tried to make me not go out, but I always found a way out. I was in a state between of not being able to remember what was happening around me and looking for liquor.

The morning of the funeral, I was extremely hung over. I wanted to stay in bed all day to sleep it off, but this was one thing that my parents put a stop to.

I don't even remember putting my black suit on, but somehow, I was standing in it and walked out of the hotel to a cab with my parents.

Jonny's parents house came in view, and I started squirming. This was one of the places that I didn't want to step in. Please don't stop here. Please!

But we did stop there, and it wasn't just to pick them up. No, we had to stop there.

My parents walked ahead of me and rang the doorbell. Mr. Toews answered the door before I even stepped onto their lawn. I didn't look up at the house, only at my feet. I didn't even make it two or three steps into the grass before I turned around and sat on the curb.

I didn't even pay attention to anything that was happening around me. I was aware of people coming over, but I truly didn't care.

My eyes squeezed shut, trying to forget where I was, but that didn't work. My broken heart knew that I was at Jonny's childhood house. This is the place that made the man that I loved. That man, even though that he is gone, will never lose my love.

What am I doing? Today we are putting the man that I love into the ground. I will not wake up with his body pushed against mine. There will be no one who cares enough to press me into telling them what's wrong. No more kisses and someone to pick me up after a tough loss.

I don't know how long I was sitting out there before I was attacked my three people.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Pat!" Erica yelled as she wrapped her arms around my neck from behind.

I grabbed one of her hands as Jacqueline sat on my right said, and Jessica on my left. Both of them draped their arms around me and didn't say a word. My sisters knew me so well.

I laid my head on Jackie's shoulder. Erica played with my curly hair, and Jess laid her head on my shoulder.

"You need a haircut," Erica said with a hit of disgust. "It's almost as long as a girl!"

"And," Jackie said, tugging on my growing beard. "You need to shave. It's not even the postseason yet! It's only the end of October!"

I couldn't help but to laugh at that. "Yeah," I sadly said. That was the first time that I said anything since his death. "What are you going to do about it?"

"What are we going to do?" Jess basically yelled while she jumped up. My other sisters followed suit and pulled me up. Together they pulled me in the house and into the nearest bathroom.

"What are you four up to?" I heard my mom ask with a laugh.

All three girls laughed as Erica yelled, "You'll see. We promise that we won't kill him though!" Jess hit her in the side, and then Erica realized what she said. "Too soon. I'm sorry Pat for saying that."

I replied only with a sad nod.

"Ooo, we need couple of things!" Jess squealed before she pulled Erica out of the room.

Jackie pushed me toward the closed toilet. "Don't worry, Pat, we are gonna make you so purdy!" she gushed before she started laughing again.

I knew what they was doing, but I didn't mind. Their plan was actually working. As each moment passed, I relaxed more and more, and my grief was set aside.