powerless // awsten knight

12

"What do you mean that's Awsten's ex girlfriend? Why does she want to talk to him?"I look at each of them frantically, and they just look down.

"Well, tell me!" I half yell at them.

Geoff an Otto look at each other and Otto sighs, putting his head in his hands. 

"She still loves him, and he has always acted different after she left him. She said she couldn't handle him being gone for tour for so long." Geoff says, leaning back and facing the ceiling.

I slide down and slouch on the couch in between Otto and Geoff, sighing. Awsten and I were finally getting close, and I've had feelings for him for so long and we were finally acting on it. I sit and thought clouds my mind, my eyes glass over but I close them and block the tears off. This isn't worth crying over, at least not yet.

After about 10 minutes of waiting in silence, Awsten and the girl named Ciara walk in. She has noticeably been crying, and Awsten is holding her loosely. I feel my heart drop to my stomach and my breath stops short. She looks at me and shoots me a smirk, then pushes her face into Awsten's shoulder. Shocked, I lower my vision to the floor and pick at my nails. Trying to ignore the situation happening around me.

"So, whats happening right now?" Geoff asks, his eyes switching from me, to Awsten, to Ciara. 

"Ciara and I are gonna try and fix things, she's gonna come on tour with us for a little bit, too.''

My eyes widen, and I look up at Awsten. Geoff does the same and quickly gets up and walks out of the room. I shake my head and rush past Awsten and Ciara and out of the room to Geoff. Otto follows behind. Tears threaten to fall, but I hold them back, again.

"How is Awsten just gonna stop talking to her for months then start dating her again? What the hell? That's not how it works!" Geoff yells while running his hands through his hair. 

"And right after he takes Amber on a date? What the fuck dude," Otto replies.

I slide down a nearby wall and put my head in my hands, the tears from earlier now silently falling down my face. My breath becomes rapid and Otto and Geoff turn to look at me. I try to slow my breathing down to no success. 

This cant be happening, I haven't had an asthma attack in years! I put my hands over my head to try and help. My silent crying turning into loud gasps and sobs. The boys look at me and run to me quickly. I try and stand up but as soon as I pick myself up, I fall right back down. Otto picks me up and takes me to the bus where Geoff opens the door. He lays me down on the couch and gasp and try to make out the words of what I need.

"Inhaler, hoodie.'' I say in between gasps. 

Geoff nods his head and quickly runs into the bunk area where he grabs my inhaler and throws it to Otto, who hands it to me. I open it and breath the medicine in, then do it again due to the severity of the attack.

Once my breathing slows down and my crying stops I roll pull myself up and lean on Otto who still sits beside me.

"Thank you, I'm sorry you had to see that." I tell him. He laughs and puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Its okay, you really had me and Geoff scared."

I nod and get up to find Geoff who is getting ready for bed. I don't say anything and neither do it, I just hug him and whisper 'thank you' into his shoulder. He somehow hears me and says a quiet 'you're welcome' while hugging me back. We let go and I make my way to my bed. At least I have Geoff, he is such a good friend.

I wonder where Awsten is, usually he would be hugging me and kissing my forehead before I go to sleep.

I guess I'm not the one who gets that anymore.

My shoulders slump, and my eyes shut. I sigh and lean against the wall next to my bed, trying to clear my mind. Eventually I give up and and strip myself of my shoes and socks, I don't have the motivation to change into sleeping clothes tonight.

I hear the doors open and Awsten's loud voice channels through the bus. It's like music to my ears, but then I hear her giggle and I cringe. Its so high pitched and forced. I peek out my curtain and see Otto standing in the kitchen, and Awsten on the couch with Ciara draped over him. Ouch.

I close my curtain back and lay on my back. 

Just when things were getting good.