In A Relationship With XiuMin of Exo

18: Respect

ERRORS AHEAD

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I WAS quiet the whole time and I can't stop these fucking tears from falling. My mother is dead and I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to grieve when I'm not even allowed? My hand flew to my chest, hoping it make the pain leave but it didn't. Why didn't they fucking tell me?

"Ask me." My voice came out hoarse, maybe because of too much crying.

He's been quiet since I told him about who Lee Sohee is in my life. He must've been surprised, or mad even. Since I told him I don't have parents but here I am crying over the death of a famous actress in her prime years. I'm sure he has questions but he's afraid to ask me because he thinks I'm not going to answer him.

I saw him shake his head, he was lying next to me on our bed as we face each other. I bit my lip and looked away, "I was a product of adultery committed by an actress and a famous prosecutor." I was expecting him to react but he remained silent and continued listening, "My parents are both married when they had me and none of them wanted me. B-Both of their spouses loathe me."

"Their children didn't want me, too except for my father's children. Jungwon Oppa and Junghyun treated me nicely." I slightly smiled when I remembered my brother, I should give him a call next time.

He scooted closer and held my my hand, "It must've been hard for you."

I slowly nodded my head, the tears just keep on coming out of my eyes. "It was really hard." My voice cracked and I began sobbing again. 26 years and I had no one to lean on especially when things get hard. None of my parents answered my call when I cried for help. I grabbed all the chances I can just to be with them, I let them treat me like crap every time they see me in high hopes that someday, a day will come, that they'll accept me as a part of their family.

Minseok pulled me close and embraced me, "Just cry it out." His hands caressed my back, soothing me.

"I just feel d-disappointed. Why didn't they tell me that my m-mother was d-dying? I deserve to know that!" I should've been there! I could've visited her when she feels helpless! I could've held her hand when she's hurting! Why can't they give me that? Why do they have to be fucking selfish and took all my rights away? Even for once, can't I really be Lee Sohee's daughter?

"WHAT DO you want to do?"

I heard Minseok ask but I didn't spare him a glance, it's already 8 AM and I haven't eaten anything. I stared at the ceiling above me.

They say that mothers are the light of the house, they make everything clearer and helps you see the things around you. My mother has never been that light to me but I know she did her best to be the light for my siblings. Saera Eoni and Songhyun Oppa grew up to be nice persons, I'm sure Mother did a great job being one.

I felt Xiumin step closer to the bed, "Sinbi, you need to eat."

When she was dying, did she ever think of me? Did I ever cross her mind? During her last days, did she ever thought of talking to me or at least, ask me if I'm fine? I wonder if she wanted to greet me during our birthday, it's a shame she didn't get the chance to eat the cake I baked especially for her birthday.

I heard Xiumin call me again but I didn't budge, "Your eyes are already swollen, they must've been sore. Stop crying, hm?"

I'm sure my mother still looked beautiful when she passed away, she's always been beautiful. As I've said, everyone who knew about me always told me that I looked like her. Just like Minhyun to Suho, we are the exact carbon copies of each other but I know Suho loved the idea of his son looking like him; my mother abhorred it. Of course, I was the daughter she never dreamt of having.