Love=Torture [H2OVanoss]

25- The Misunderstanding

(Evan's P.O.V)

I....began to feel.
I....began to think.
I....began to love.

I'm positive that 'love' is an existing word. It's a word that is....is as strong as 'hate'. 'Love' is the opposite of 'hate', and I realize that.

The thing is....will he realize it? Will Jonathan realize my strong feelings for him? It confuses me...

It really does. The memory I had, not that many days ago, made me question myself. The woman had touched his hand and connected her lips with his.

It felt so right. But now that I look back onto what is happening now, in the real world, i'm confused. Jonathan isn't a woman.

He's a man. Is it okay that I feel this way for him? The way we held each other?

The way he cried in front of me and made my heart....feel twisted? Here I lay, in my bed, wanting answers to my questions... And knowing that i'll never get answers because no one else would ever understand me.

That is, unless if I communicate with Tyler. But I can't do that now. If I get near him....all hell would break loose.

I sighed as I stared up at the ceiling. Hoping i'd get enough sleep for tomorrow. Everything has gone so...different.

Ever since I left from King Opfres' kingdom....it's like I just had an epiphany. Like I had found out secrets that weren't suppose to be known to mankind. Why was crossing Elsewhere so bad? What is beyond that flowing river stream? I shifted from my uncomfortable position, finding the fact that I wasn't going to get a good sleep tonight. I kept on worrying.

I kept on thinking about things I wasn't suppose to think about. Why me? Is that the main question remaining in my thoughts? Why had I felt so strong towards Jonathan? The beautiful embrace we shared for so many minutes.... It was as if the feelings in me were telling me that there was a way out. That there is still hope.

I just need to find it. But how could I do that when it would be so hard to explain it? I stared at my hand that laid upon the pillow next to my head.

Would holding Jonathan's hand be forbidden? The man and woman did it in my memory. Wouldn't it be fair enough if a man and a man did it? Possibly a woman and a woman?

Frowning at my own thoughts, I found myself rubbing my hands against my pillow. I felt like I was....touching something else. A remembrance? Was that it? The up and down motion with my hand and my pillow sheet comforted me in ways I thought wasn't possible.

Suddenly, the pillow started to form into something else. The atmosphere began to feel different. The winds, I thought I would never feel, began to blow through my black ravened hair.

I closed my eyes.

And then I opened them.

Green.

There was green everywhere. The flatlands gave off a feeling of 'peace'. The low-cut green grass surrounded me. Not only me. Someone else.

I stared at my hand, seeing another hand below it. I was rubbing this persons hand in an affectionate way. It was as if it had a whole different meaning to it.

My eyes switched from the strangers hand to the strangers eyes. It wasn't a stranger.... It was the man I was deeply curious about.

Jonathan Denis-Fong. The blue icy eyes and the calm, pink smile. His eyes ran through the variety of colors that laid on the blanket below us.

We were having a picnic. That's what it was. The warm and gentle air pushed my hair just the slightest bit.

The beauty in the color above us.... I never knew the skies could be this blue. White puffy clouds roamed by in slow motion.