2:32
There's a lump in my throat now
I was writing about you
I'm always writing about you
But this time I was writing about the good
Your touch
Your smile
Your love
And god I miss it
And I know I shouldn't but I'm going to text you
Because 'of course we're still friends'
I don't know if you can be friends with ex lovers
You should be able to
You shouldn't have to loose your best friend as well as your lover
To take both at once is awful
And all my lovers have been my best friend
You knew everything about me
You knew what I had for lunch everyday, what assignments I had due
Now you don't even know who my friends are
I never lied to you but now it has become almost natural
'I'm over you'
'We're just friends'
'I've got someone new'
'It's 2:30 and I'm bored and no one else is up'
The sad thing is
You can't see through the bullshit
You can't see how my eyes tear up when I see you out and about
You can't see how I start shaking when you show up the one time I stopped thinking about you
You can't tell how close I am to puking when you tell me you like me
Or worse
When you tell me you don't
Or worst of all
When you tell me nothing
You just
Disappear
You always come back and it's breaking me
It'd break me more if you left for good though
The problem is you know I'll always be here
I've come so close to leaving
But I can't
Because I love you
I don't care who knows
Used to when you were out with other people, you'd tell me not to worry, that you're mine still. Now you send me photos of girls without context and then become upset when I ask who they are because 'why are you always so jealous'
When I'm with you you're never with me
You're busy
Texting them
And I have nothing against them
I'm sure they're lovely
But you know what you're doing
And you know you have me
And I know you're not going to let me leave
And I know I don't want to.
I'm yours
You're not mine
But I'm yours
And this is a mess
But I needed it out of my system
My friends are tired of hearing your name over and over again
And I don't blame them
I don't blame you either
I don't blame anyone but myself
I just don't know when you changed
2:42
YOU ARE READING
Summer '17
Poetry"Reality denied comes back to haunt" -Madeline Roux • I keep trying to write about my life and I always try to start at the beginning. It doesn't ever work, I never make it to where I am now in life. So now, I will start writing from here. Just me...
