Fallen

13. Not in the Mood

Both Jeremy and Kiki looked at me wide eyed. Everyone else in the joint turned to look at me. I must have been yelling. I quietly got up and left.

Once I was in the safety of my car, I screamed. I got onto the road and drove. I didn't feel like going home. I had a full tank of gas and nowhere to go.

I kept driving until it was 5 in the afternoon. It wasn't until I started heading home that I realized I was being followed. I had noticed the car earlier but I just thought they were going somewhere. Now I knew it was following me.

I was about 3 hours away from my house. I punched in my address on the GPS and kept driving. The car that was following me was 3 cars back. It was a Red Ford Explorer.

After about 2 hours I couldn't see the red car anymore. I was really relaxed after driving for 5 hours. My phone started ringing and I ignored it.

Then it rang again.

And again.

And again.

Until finally I clicked the Bluetooth button and picked up.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?" Kiki's high-pitched squeal came out of the speaker. "You cannot just say something like that and walk out!!"

I clicked the 'End' button and turned off my phone. I wasn't in the mood. I should have felt guilty. But I didn't.

For the next hour I listened to the radio and drove home.

I parked in my driveway and got out. I surveyed the street to make sure I hadn't been followed. I saw nothing out of the ordinary. I walked up to my front door, unlocked and opened it and walked inside.

My breathing was slow and my heart calm. I felt depressed. I sighed and went up the stairs. I went straight into my bathroom and turned on the bath water knob all the way to the red H.

I stripped off my clothes and shoes and put one foot into the bath then the other, then I lowered myself into the shallow water. The water was lukewarm but warming up quickly. I turned off the water when it reached the top.

I rested my head on the edge of the tub and closed my eyes. I breathed in, then out. In, out, in out. Then I submerged my head underwater. I felt the water go into my ears and surround me.

I'm not sure how long I was underneath. Probably a minute or two. It felt like longer. It felt like I was sleeping, in a dream.

I do know that I breathed in water and came up gasping and coughing. I didn't want to die. I just wanted a little escape. I guess that's what sleep is for.

I washed my hair and my body and got out. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me. I unplugged the water drain. I watched as the water got sucked into the drain.

I shuffled to my room and grabbed my pajamas. I slipped them on and turned off the bathroom light and turned on my bedroom light. I turned on the T.V. and channel surfed.

"What's the matter?" A familiar voice asked. I grunted.

"Did you just grunt at me? I'm not worthy of words?" He said.

"Niall I have had a bad day and I'm tired. I just wanna be alone. Okay?"

"No you don't." He cocked his head and stared at me.

"Don't what?" I kept my eyes glued to the television, but I wasn't paying attention to it.

"You don't want to be alone. Mona you don't always have to be so tough. Let your guard down once in a while." This time I looked at him.