My Fault

Apologies

I was sitting up in my bed staring at my door. I knew any minute now I would have to walk out and eat breakfast with everyone. I was afraid of the things that would be said. I had no idea if anyone knew that I was back. My stomach was turning inside out and I had no appetite at all, but I knew that I had to eat. They were all probably angry with me.

            The knock on my door caused me to jump up. “Breakfast.” It was Emily.

            I sighed and nervously walked to the door and opened it. She was standing there in front of me smiling. “Ready?” She asked and I nodded.

            I followed her down the short hallway and hesitated before walking into the kitchen. I could smell the buttered toast and eggs coming from the room next to me. I could easily book it if I wanted to. The front door was ten feet away. I could make a fun for the gate and be gone for good. I’d find Sammi and Alex. They’d take me in and keep me hidden from everyone else. It would be so easy.

            The wonderful fantasy escaped my thoughts as I stepped into the kitchen. Eyes planted themselves on me, causing me to freeze in my spot. “Lylah!”

            Kevin got up out of his seat and ran over to me, giving me a giant hug and actually lifting me off of the floor. “Oh my gosh I’ve missed you so much! I’m so glad you’re back, thank God! Oh my gosh!” He cried as he spun me in circles.

            I was then put down and he looked straight at me. I was speechless. I was scared I’d say something stupid, even though with Kevin nothing I said was stupid. He always accepted me, even if I left for a while. “I’ve missed you, too.” I managed to say softly.

            He smiled and grabbed my head, leading me to my spot, then heading back to his. Kyra stared at me for a few seconds before eating her food. I didn’t dare look over to Johnny, especially after the talk we had at the mall. I felt even more out of place than when I first came here.

            There was no talking, just eating. I didn’t dare say a word to anyone. All I wanted to do was eat and escape back to my room. I only ate one piece of toast and a few eggs before getting up and dropping my plate in the garbage. After that I quickly made my way into my room and shut the door. It was the most awkward meal ever.

            Not too long after that I heard a knock on my door. I reluctantly walked over to it and opened it, but no one was there, just an iPod laying on the ground with a small note by it. I picked them both up and shut my door again, making my way to my bed. The note read:

            There’s only one song. Listen.

            Johnny.

            I could feel the knots in my stomach while I clicked the song called Undone by Lifehouse. I had never heard it before, so I carefully listened to the lyrics.

I can see it your eyes you're hurting

But pain is part of learning who you are

All these truths can sometimes be deceiving

When your whole world comes crashing to the ground

I bit my lip and choked down the tears that were threatening to fall. What was he trying to say with this song? I was nervous for the rest, but listened anyway.

Tell me everything you need now anything at all

And I will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall