My Fault

Breaking down

A knock on my door caused me to open my eyes and groan. "Lylah, breakfast!" Mrs. Bloom's voice beamed through my door.

I heard her walk away and I pulled the covers pack over my face. I couldn't believe I slept that whole time and was still tired. I was glad no one woke me up to eat dinner last night, or maybe I just didn't hear them. My door was still locked, but I was sure Mrs. Bloom had a key to every room. I wasn't hungry. I never was, anymore. Of course I would eat here and there, but I mostly pushed away the food. I just felt sick every time I looked at it. Part of me felt I didn't deserve food, either. People who killed their families didn't deserve anything.

Another knock on my door caused me to push the covers away from me and get off my bed. I slowly made my way towards the door, unlocked it, then opened it. Kevin was standing right in front of me. "Hey, you need to eat! Mrs. Bloom let you off last night because she figured you were really tired, but now you have to. You're so tiny anyway! Come on!" He laughed, then started skipping down the hall.

I sighed and shut my door. Walking over to my dresser, I picked out some white shorts that I held up with a black studded belt and a black tank top. I brushed my hair in front of the mirror and then exited my room. My bare feet tapped along the cold floor as I made my way to the kitchen. I only found where it was because of the smell. I hadn't been given a proper tour yet, but I was sure I would know where everything was soon enough. As I turned the corner, I scanned the room. There was a large brown rectangular table with white plastic plates filled with eggs, toast, and bacon set up at each chair. Kyra and Kevin were sitting on one side, Johnny on the other. Mrs. Bloom had taken her seat at the end while Tom at the other end. The empty spot was mine, next to Johnny. I walked slowly over to chair and took my seat. A smile spread across Mrs. Bloom's face as she clapped her hands together. "Alright everyone, dig in!" She said.

I watched everyone pick up their forks and start eating while I just sat there. I saw Kyra glance up and raise an eyebrow. "What, is this too scummy for you miss princess?" She asked.

"Kyra!" I heard Tom say as he shook his head.

Kyra huffed and continued eating her food. I bit down on my lip and looked down. The food looked wonderful, and it was what I usually ate for breakfast, so it was in no way too scummy for me. I had no idea where Kyra got that idea. I could see Mrs. Bloom glancing at me through the corner of my eye. I knew she was wondering why I wasn't eating. I needed to either dig in, or speak up.

I chose the latter. "I'm sorry, I just don't feel good." I said and stood up.

I quickly rushed out of the kitchen and into my room, shutting the door behind me. I could hear soft footsteps, so I quickly locked the door. Just then I heard a knock. "Lylah, can I please come in?" It was Tom.

I sighed and unlocked the door, then opened it enough so he could walk in. He went to the ledge by my window and sat down, then motioned for me to sit next to him. I nodded my head and took a seat, making sure not to look at him. "Hey, don't pay too much attention to Kyra. She's always like this when new people come in. And you didn't eat dinner last night, and now you're skipping breakfast, mind telling me why?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. I knew the reason but I didn't want to say it. I heard him sigh and he rested his hand on my shoulder. "Lylah, everyone is the same when they come in here. Lost, confused, angry, upset. We all understand. When I was a year younger than you my dad died of lung cancer, and then my mom killed herself. I blamed myself for a very long time, but then I came here. It's hard at first Lylah, but I promise it'll get easier." He told me, and wrapped me in a hug.

I hugged him back, small tears coming out of my eyes. When he released, he patted my shoulder then exited my room. After shutting the door, I covered my face with my hands and continued crying. I felt so selfish.