My Fault

Alone time

                When I woke the next morning I sat for a few minutes and let the warm breeze flow through my hair. It felt so nice to be alone and to be able to think in private. I had no distractions and no one to tell me to do anything, it felt nice. I looked down at my knuckles and sighed, then turned towards the creek. I didn’t want to wash them in there because of how dirty it could be, so I let them be.

                I stood up and started towards the path. I wasn’t going back; I just wanted to explore the wooded area. When I got to the fork, I took a left, because the right would have led me right back to the house. The noises of birds filled my ears along with my footsteps along the dirt ground. Everything I set my eyes on was beautiful. There were multi-colored flowers along the path and scattered out in the woods. I neared the same creek, but this time a little ways down, and a small wooden bridge went over it. I made my way across then continued walking. I was glad there weren’t other paths in fear I would get lost.

                I felt like it wouldn’t end until I neared a metal fence. I stopped right before it and put my hands on it, noticing the path that continued behind it. I was guessing this was for the boundaries of the house. I sighed and looked above me. It was several feet taller than I was, and there was no way to get over it. Deciding turning around was best; I did that and made my way back to the clearing.

                My mind filled with thoughts of Kyra. I was still astounded that she said such a thing. My name was never mentioned in the newspaper because I was only 17 years old, but it had said that the fire started from a cigarette butt in the daughter’s room. It was obvious that they were talking about me. I thought of everyone I knew. Everyone at school and the teachers probably hated me. I had destroyed my home and the family in it. They probably wanted nothing to do with me.

                I was given the rest of the school year off, considering I went to summer school for three weeks to finish all the missing work. The school board felt it would be good for me to take some time alone and get ‘better’. Whatever that meant. I didn’t like how I was being treated with such sympathy. I didn’t deserve it. I deserved the anger and criticism. I guess people thought I would do something stupid if they treated me bad. I didn’t blame them, I mean; I had almost killed myself when I found out how the fire started. Not too many people knew about that, though.

                I sat back down at the tree and took my phone out of my pocket. There was only 16% battery left, so I put it away again. My white shorts were all dirty from sitting on the grass and dirt, but I didn’t mind it too much.

                Maybe I over reacted a little when Kyra had said that. Maybe she had a reason for being so mean, but I couldn’t think of one. I felt sort of bad for her. I didn’t know her story, yet here I was judging her. But at the same time she judged me too. I couldn’t understand how Kevin could be so close to her. He was the polar opposite; kind, funny, outgoing. And then there was Kyra; angry, mean, and boring. All I ever saw her doing was reading a book. I liked to read, but not that much.

                I felt my phone vibrate so I took it out and looked at the screen. Johnny was calling me, but I ignored it. I wanted to be alone. I wasn’t ready to go back yet. So I didn’t. I sat there thinking about everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. My mind wouldn’t shut up. I couldn’t believe how much time had passed until it got really dark and the noises from the birds turned into songs from crickets. It started getting a little chilly, so I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stay warm. I would have never done this a year ago, yet here I was completely content with being in the woods by myself. It would have freaked me out, but I had no fear.