Small Town Love

GONE

Ryan's pov

As I was walking out of Cj's room I head her quitly asking me to stay. Of course I did. As she layed next to me I kept whispering things like "I'll never leave" and "I love you." I could tell she wasn't a sleep yet until I head quite and adorable snores coming from her. I watched her sleep, not in a creepy way but in like a "This is my last good look at her alive" kind of way. I watched her for about and hour watching as her chest slowly rose and fell with every breath knowing at each one could be her last. Then her eyes fluttered open she took in a breath and whispered, "I love you too, and I'll never leave you." Then her eyes closed once again and she let out her last breath. I half expect me to start crying and freaking out saying stuff like "no, you're not dead not yet." Or "take another breath just one more." But I didn't I simply slipped out of bed and walked to the living room where family was waiting. We all had a suspicion that today was the day and we were right. 

When I walked in he looked up at me with sorrow in their eyes. I just nodded. They all nodded slowly. They told me I could stay that night in the guest room if I wanted and that they'd take care of everything for her, but I decided to just go home. I was hoping my mom would come get me because I was about to break and I hated doing that in front of my dad. He would always tell me to get over it and man up or men don't cry so cut it out. He never really understood what was happening in my mind and it seemed like he didn't care. 

His car pulled up and I slowly walked towards it and got in the front seat. I stayed quiet the whole ride home. When we got to the house I ran to my room and shut the door wanting to be alone. Not a minute later my dad came in and told me my mom told him to stay with me. Since I was still refusing to break down in front of my dad I just bottled up what ever I was feeling. That was my problem I bottled everything up. I've always done it, then when it was too much to handle I would go to Cj, but I can't. 

I can't because she's gone. She's GONE. Thats all I've thought about since I left her house. She's gone. She'll never come back.