Forget Your Scars We'll Forget Mine ~ All time low Fan-fiction ~

My Lungs Gave Out As I Faced The Crowd

“Hey Effy” Chris said.

“What the fuck do you want?” I spat.

“I just want to talk” He said walking towards me, but Jack stepped in front of me.

“Then talk” Jack said.

“Can we talk alone?” he asked me looking around Jack. I let go of Jack’s hand and walked around him.

“You have ten minutes” I said. The guys left to go into the kitchen. Before Jack left he gave me a worried look and then he walked up the stairs to the guest room.

“Effy I’m sorry” Chris started “I never wanted you to find out”

“Well I did” I started to scratch my palm. I always did that when I wanted to cut.

“You mean so much to me” He walked towards me.

“If I mean so much to you then why did you hurt me? The shit that you pulled made me start-“ I stopped I couldn’t do this.

“Start what?” He looked worried.

“Nothing” I whispered. I saw his eyes move to my arm. He gasped.

“Why would you do something so stupid to yourself?” He shouted.

“Because you fucking hurt me and I couldn’t take it anymore” I shouted back. Tears started to fall down my cheeks. “Chris you fucking broke my heart. Why the fuck are you here?”

“I want you back baby” He tried to hug me but I shoved him back.

“Get the fuck out of my house” I shouted and began to cry harder. Alex rushed out of the kitchen with Rian and Zack close behind him. I ran up the stairs and headed for my room. But once I reached the top of the stairs I ran into Jack’s body. I looked up at him and he looked upset.

“Come here” He said and I wrapped my arms around his waist and he wrapped his arms around my body. Yeah jack’s thin and all but compared to me he was nothing. He told me once that it was like hugging a twig when he hugged me. But that never stopped him from hugging me and making me feel better. I began to calm down and I eventually stopped crying. I let go of Jack and started to walk down the hall to my room. I wanted to cut so bad but I knew I couldn’t do that now after all I had worked for to try and stop.

I shut my bed room door and fell onto my bed. About ten minutes later I got a text from alex.

Alex: Hey we’re gonna go swimmin wanna join?

Me: Sure ill be down in a min.

I got up from my bed and grabbed my glamour kills black bikini. After I changed and grabbed my towel, I headed down stair to the pool. I sat down on one of the beach chairs we had in front of the pool and put my head phones in and started playing music. I tried the best I could to stop thinking about what had just happened with Chris. I couldn’t help feeling like I still loved him. When I dated Chris I was happy. I felt crushed after finding him and HER but I still liked him. I hated admitting it but it was true. I started scratching my palm again.

I suddenly felt cold water being thrown on me.

"What the fuck?" I screamed.

"Sorry Effy" Rian said. The guys were all laughing.

"Fuck you Rian" I said. Rian immediutly stopped laughing. I grabbed my towel and getting up from the chair. "Ill be in my room" No one noticed that i was leaving except for Rian.

I went to my room and grabbed my clothes. I went into the bathroom across the hall and took a shower. I let my mind wander and that was probably the worst thing to do. I thought about all of the good times I had with Chris, all of the bad times with him, I thought about the first time I cut, I thought about the fights I had with Alex because he wanted to know why I was locking myself away in my room. I started to cry. I was in so much pain.

I got out of the shower and changed into a tank-top and a pair of shorts. I looked in the mirror and started crying harder. I couldnt take it anymore. I grabbed my razor out of my old spare makeup bag and took out my razor. I slid down the wall to the floor. I held the razor across my arm and dragged it across ten times. The blood flowed fast and I felt so much better.

Then the bathroom door flew open and Rian stood in the doorway.