We'll Be A Memory

We'll Be A Memory- Ch. 12

Hey lovelies!

Sorry this chapter took so long, I had a baaaaad case of writer's block. It pained me more than it pained you, I promise. Anyways, I really, really, really, really, REALLY hope you like the chapter, I spent a good chunk of time on it. If you like it, please comment and/or vote and/or fan. It makes my day, you have no idea.

The song in the sidebar is the song written about in this chapter. I highly recommend you check it out. If you're into a more rock and electric guitar vibe, there's also the "real" version. It's in the external link if you're interested. Mayday Parade is amazing, and they're such nice guys. I had the privilege of meeting them about two months ago. Please, go check them out.

Anyways, without further ado.. I give you chapter 12! *applause*

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"I'm bruised and scarred

Save me from this broken heart

All my love will slowly fade and fall apart

Someone please, sing this lovesick melody"                  

             -"Bruised and Scarred" by Mayday Parade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat up slowly in bed, struggling as the sheets beckoned me down into a cocoon of warmth and comfort.

I stared across the room at the opposite wall. One-fourth of the wall was a collage of pictures from our -my- summer. 

I bit my tongue as a lump rose in my throat. The unwanted memories of last night came flooding back. They seemed to be running through my brain on repeat, unable to be stopped. I raked my hands through my hair, struggling to maintain a grip on my emotions. My breathing was fast and hard, and I wanted to cry. All I wanted at the moment was to be weak and break down.

"Lex, stop it. He isn't worth your time." I pinched my thigh so hard I left indents, but it brought me back to reality. It wasn't worth it to cry over him. He was nothing to me anymore. Anything that we had felt for each other was a lie. I despise helpless woman, and I was determined to not become one of them. 

With a shaky breath, I leaned over and flipped on the stereo, turning on a random playlist from my iPod.

I froze as the first song came on. "It all goes back to the first kiss, It was the only I'd thought I'd never miss." My face became hot as tears flooded my eyes. I slumped back against the headboard as salty tears spilt down my face. I hated myself for crying. Crying was a sign of weakness that showed that you cared.

I lied back down in bed and wrapped the covers around me, loosing myself in the music.

The notes seemed tangible, swirling all around me through the air. Normally, music would be like a drug, taking me higher and higher. However, now all it seemed to do was drag me farther and farther down. Every note was an inch closer to darkness. "Now I'm wearing this smile that I don't believe in, Inside I feel like screaming." My nails dug into my arm as I hugged myself. Maybe, if I held hard enough, I could keep myself from falling to pieces. It felt like someone had cut a hole in my chest, and was digging into the wound deeper and deeper. Each lyric was like salt being thrown into a cut. 

How was it possible that someone you loved and cared so deeply about was able to just toss you to the side of the road as if you meant nothing?

I slid out of bed, throwing the covers aside. Kneeling down onto the wooden floorboards, my hands reached under the bed for my box. The box.

I picked it up and tossed it on my bed. It was shaped like a chest, about the size of a shoe box. The box was a rich brown, but throughout the eight months I had taken some yellow and pink ribbon and decorated it. It was adorned with buttons, lace, ribbon, and even a few pictures. Jonah and I had cut out various letters from magazines and glued them on to spell our names. Our relationship had made this boring box into a chest of love and memories. 

I threw the gold clasp open, apathetic to whether it broke or not. I ripped all the photos of Jonah and I off the collage and tossed them into the chest, not caring whether they became bent or not. I scoured the room in search of any tangible evidence of Jonah. I wanted to pretend he had never existed. 

After tearing down random mementos, I sifted through the box. Memories seemed to spill out of the box itself, as if they were tangible objects. There was the glass jar that held sand and seashells that Jonah and I had picked together on our first date. I laughed bitterly as I even saw the receipt from the first time we went out to dinner together, just us two. The box was cluttered with various pictures of us: on the beach, Disney World, the Boardwalk, movies, date nights, picnics. I resisted the urge to tear all of them up.

I was just about done packing the box up when my hand flew to my neck. I fingered the delicate silver chain resting on my collarbone, hesitating. The two coin-shaped pieces of silver were cold to the touch. This piece of jewelery held years of memories.

My heart rose up to my throat as I opened the small package. Two circles of silver were hanging on a silver chain. I ran my finger over the small objects, feeling the rough texture of our names engraved in the metal. I looked up at his expectant face, his eyes widened in anticipation. "Jonah, it's perfect."

He let out an airy laugh as I swiveled around. His nimble fingers brushed across the back of my neck as he fastened the necklace.  My cheeks flushed as I felt his hot breath on my neck. Despite the warm Florida air, I shivered. As I turned around, my fingers released the dark tendrils of hair I was holding. His face broke out into a grin, his blue eyes lighting up.. "Perfect.." I glanced down at my shoes, trying to hide my blush. 

"Thanks Jonah, I love it. It's the best gift I've ever gotten."

He laughed as he placed his arm around my waist to hug me. "Lex, you know we'll always be best friends, right? Nothing is ever gonna tear us apart." Our hands brushed against each other as we walked up the path that led to the large group of people waiting for us.

Right as we reached the top of the path, I felt him glance over at me. His smile was spread from ear to ear, and soft blond curls settled on his forehead.

"Happy 13th birthday, Lex."

 I swallowed back bile that rose in my throat from the memory. We were just friends, but we already loved each other. It was just a different kind of love that we weren't familiar with. 

I almost broke the clasp as I tried to tear it off my neck. My skin felt hot, almost as if the metal had burnt it.

I threw it into the box, and slammed the lid down. Walking over to my closet, I pushed aside random clothes and shoes. Swaying, I rose onto my tip-toes. I slipped the box onto the highest shelf, shoving it back as far as it could go. I even took extra precautions and haphazardly placed a stack of clothes in front of it. Unless a ladder was used, it was completely invisible.

I walked out of the closet and slammed the door, locking away the memories once-and-for-all. Jonah was gone.