A Dirty Secret?

Chapter 10

this story maybe has 3-5 chapters left. it all depends on what happens in the next few, so comment and vote please :)

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Chapter 10

School was a hell of a day, but overall it was pretty good. Not to much drama and not to much homework. Because with everything happening lately I haven’t been able to focus. I parked my car and walked inside to see James and Rosanna witting on the couch cuddling and watching a movie. I was determined not to give a reaction.  James snapped his head around to see who just came in the door.  When he saw he his eyes widened a little.

I stared at him for a split second before turning my head and walking up the stairs. I threw my stuff down on my bed and changed into some sweats and a baggy sweater. I sat down at my desk and started my homework. An hour of concentrating and I should be done.

But instead of an hour it took me 2. Because the images of James and Rosanna kept replaying in my head, them there snuggling on the couch as I walked in the door. I hated myself for thinking about it, it’s not like he cares about me and its not like I care about him. but my mind’s starting to believe that anymore. I sighed and got out of the chair. My legs had fallen asleep in that time period and it was I was a little off balanced.

I hobbled out of my room, but when I was going down the stairs, I tripped and was about to go face firs flying down the stairs, but luckily Dan was in front of me and I fell right into him. Making us tumbled down the stairs and me land on him In a heap. “argh, Tay…” he complained.  “Thanks Dan, I lost my balance.” I got up quickly and smiled down at him. He just shook his head and smiled.

James looked over at us from the couch and half glared. He’s probably because h cant hear his stupid tv over us. I needed to go out and get some fresh air. It might not be summer, but it was still September so I could at least go and sit on the beach.  “hey Dan I’m going out” I started walking towards the door when he grabbed my wrist “where are you going now Tay?” he flatly asked. I guess he wasn’t to happy about my new lifestyle that I was actually getting out of the house. “relax, I'm not going out with anyone or anywhere much, I'm gonna just go somewhere peaceful. Just call me if you need anything” I said In a hurry trying to get away from him before he decided he needed to follow me.

“well if you’re not going anywhere much then why won’t you tell me where you’re going” he called out and grabbed my wrist again.  “because I can go where I want without having to tell you where.  I'm 18 I'm not a kid anymore Dan” I reminded him and pulled my hand away. He glared at me as I grabbed a light jacket. “I will be calling” he reminded his face now looked a little calmer but not that much

“I look forward to it” I rolled my eyes and turned to get my shoes. James was staring at us, watching that whole exchange I'm guessing. “what” I snapped at him. he simply glared at me with no response. “Whoa Tay would you be nice, what did he ever do to you?” Dan said from behind me.

If only he knew. But if he did I would be so screwed. And there friendship would most likely be over. I'm not a home wreaker so it’s all in good intentions that I'm not telling him. well that’s what I'm trying to convince myself anyway.  I guess there’s just something’s that I cant tell him and this would be one of those stupid things.

“I’ll be back later Dan” I stared long and hard at James as I said that and walked out the door. It was only like 5 and the beach was only a half hour walk away so I decided to get some fresh air and walk. When I got there, there was pretty much no one except for the venting people like me. who were just sitting by themselves and watching the sky and water. I have to say it may sound stupid but It clears my mind and makes me a bit more peaceful. I don’t do it a lot, because then it loses it’s magic. But when I do, well it makes me want to come back here every single day.

I sit down on the sand and hug my knees to my chest. This had been one hell of a week already. A change of life for me, I'm just not sure if it’s any good. I think about what’s happened in the past week, and how I haven’t even spent any much time with my brother. I missed him so much and I think I’ve spent more time talking to James and thinking about him than I have with Dan.  Things just complicate me sometimes and its hard. But if I want to go to university and graduate with honors, and get a good job then I guess this is what’s necessary.

I get bored thinking about my life at the moment and clear my mind. I close my eyes as the wind rushes past, blowing my hair back. a slight chill makes its way towards me and makes me shiver. This is what I love. Nature at its best.  I sigh and look out at the rough waters, there is something special about that, how it just keeps moving along and along. Whatever damage done to it is erased through the current. And sound like a crazy person right now but I just cant help it. every little event changes the outcome of another. Everything is connected in life and I can never find my way around it.

I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here, but the sun has started to set and it’s almost dark now. Dan hasn’t called once and I was lost in my thoughts of craziness. And as if on cue my phone chimes in a text. I open it in surprise to see it from Jordan.

‘hey so you said you would go out with me again, thank god. I want to take you out tomorrow, just the two of us. I promise and I’ll treat you like the girl I want instead of someone I just met’ the text brought a smile to my face, Jordan really was a sweet guy and maybe he was the one thing that was worth going for. Maybe the one good thing that came out of all of this. I texted back ‘well then, I guess I will see you tomorrow night’. My phone started ringing as I was just about to put it away.

“Hello?” I answered. “hey Tay you coming home soon?” Dan said surprisingly calm.  “yea I am, I’s going to take me half an hour to walk home though, so don’t hold your breath” I warned. “where are you? And why didn’t you take the car?” “well I wanted some fresh air and it was only half hour so I decided I could walk, and I'm at the beach”

No harm done in telling him where I am, I’m done with my time now, I feel much lighter and ready than I did a few hours ago and I think I can handle James now, he’s not that big of a deal.

“oh well it’s already 7, I’ll just send someone to pick you up, don’t walk.” He said before the line went dead. I shrugged and sat back down, that means more time for me here and less spent walking home in the cold dark night. A few minutes later my phone chimed again with two new messages.

‘thanks for giving me another chance Tay, I promise you won’t regret it’ I could see that he was really trying this time. ‘James was going out to get some food so I asked him to get you along the way, he should be there in like 10 minutes, -D’ aww damn, of course I get stuck riding with none other than stupid James.

But I promise myself I'm not going to kiss him this time and I'm not going to do anything stupid. It seems like every time I'm with him alone it ends up badly for me and only gets me in deeper with him. I sit there till I hear a car pull up and look over to see him getting out. well here goes nothing.