Oh, How I Hate The Word MATE

It's Complicated

CHAPTER 25: IT'S COMPLICATED

 TYLER

  You know, sometimes I wish I was a baby again.

  No worries.

  No mates.

  And you can shit on yourself whenever you want.

  Yep, life was good when you're a baby.

  But sadly, everyone grows up. Most, who become 'mature' and all, acting like they know everything when they really don't.

  Sigh.

  I am so jealous of babies.

  "AHHHHHH!!!"

  THUMP

  Alright, back into reality.

  "STOP SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL AND RUN LIKE A MAN!!" If you're wondering, then yes, that's me shouting at Liam as we run like hell through the woods with hunters on our asses.

  To tell you the truth, it was all Liam's fault.

  Because noooobody listens to Tyler, we all suffer. Or get chased by angry hunters who want you dead.

  You know what my new favorite word is? Squiggle. Why? Because that word has saved my ass more than I can count. How? Well, no one ever expects you to say squiggle before they kill you. It catches them off guard.

  "Any last words?" This one guy laughed evilly as he held a gun directly pointed at my head.

  I thought about it.

  "Well, when that squiggle comes out of that squiggle, then I would be more squiggled than your love life so no, I don't squiggle any squiggle words to say,"

  I had said the first thing I had thought of, which that guy clearly wasn't expecting since he had no idea I just insulted him by replacing a bunch of words with one.

  Even I don't know what I just said.

  SOOO, like I was saying before, me and Liam - excuse eh moi, Liam and I - are running through this god forsaken forest because I have a dumbass for a brother.

  Am I speaking too smart? I feel old when talking like this. Don't you think? It's almost like having bronchitis.

  THUD

 Some lady hunter literally tackled Liam. I'm considering whether to actually help him or not. Eh, I guess I will since he's gots a bad leg and all.

  "Take this bitch!" I yell as I tackled her to the ground, but it backfired when I landed underneath her instead of on top.

  "Time to put down the mutt," She hissed as she tried to plunge a knife into my stomach. I glanced at Liam in panic as he struggled to get up.

  "Liam! Give me the shaver," I yell, knowing that there's one in his pocket. Don't ask.

  "The what?" he looks at me stupidly.

  "The shaver!!" I struggle to keep the knife away from my stomach.

  "What the hell is that?" Oh. My. God. 

  "GODDAMMIT, THE FUCKING RAZOR IN YOUR POCKET YOU DUMBASS!!"

  He makes an 'oh' face and digs in his pocket for it.

  And people say I'm the dumb one. Ha!

  As I catch the razor - which is probably the worst weapon in the history of weapons - I can't help but think who shaved thier beards last with this.

  I shiverd.

  Quickly, I swatted the razor over her cheek, effectively slicing it. The huntress shrieked an annoyingly high pitched scream and grabbed her cheek.

  Huh, she sounds like Jessica. 

  Wasting no time, I grabbed Liam and ran the hell outa there, before more hunter came.

  SIgh. Like that movie starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, It's Complicated

**********************

Dear whoever is still reading,

  I am a horrible person. Yes I know that.

 But for now, I'm gonna try to post more often than before. BUT, they're gonna be short - like this one -  so, dont be all expectant one me.

**This chapter was really crappy since i just wrote anything I thought of, if you don't like it or understand it or anything, me either**

    This month sucked. Whenever I looked at the computer screen my mind draws blank and I can't write anything. To top THAT off, my internet is very very very very VERY limited now, which sucks balls. 

  SO. for past, present, AND future actions, I'm Sorry. and Vote/Comment

(please)

  :D