Secret

*Chapter 16: Oh Man

*Chapter 16

 *I search high and low, so close, yet so far to go. Akon. Sunny Day*

Jordan’s POV

I can tell that today is going to be a crap day. Seriously, I woke up this morning and all I hear is ‘want you back’ by Cher Lloyd playing on the Capital. I mean who wants to listen to that shit in the morning? I think that you can tell how good the day is going to be by the first song you hear when you wake up and since the first song I heard was ‘want you back’ I could just feel it in my bones that today was going to be more that shit. Hang on, when did I get so deep? I think I’m just going to go and get Monique now- that is if she’ll talk to me.

When I went to her flat to get her this morning her brother told me in no uncertain terms never to talk to his sister again. I felt really bad but I just couldn’t help it. I just saw red when she looked so comfortable wining and daggering with him. I know we’re not together officially but doesn’t a date at Snog mean anything nowadays? Her Mum who was also usually quite cheerful towards me was also quite hostile today.  Is what I did that bad? I wanted to apologise to her but I couldn’t find her anywhere. That Sara’s house is bloody huge.

I can't believe that I blew my chances with Monique. Actually I can, I’ve always ruined things in my life. That’s why we moved to the Eastbourne estate, it was meant to be a final new start. I guess I ruined that as well...The girl will probably never talk to me again as I proved that I'm still one of the mandem who came from the Silverdale estate. Why can’t I change? I guess there’s no changing some people.

As it has been made clear that I should never talk to Monique again I had to run to school by myself. But it wasn't the same as when I ran with Monique, when I ran with her I felt a sense of fulfilment but today I just felt empty. When I hit the showers in the changing room I turned the water to the coldest settings and prayed that it would help to numb the empty feeling I had.

I finished in the showers and made my way slowly to Psychology. Perhaps Mr Hughes could explain the reason I was feeling like complete shit because of what happened. Why can't I change, I feel like my Dad, he was a violent waste of space as well.

After school

"Mum"

"Yeah?"

"What would you do to fix a situation you've completely F’d up?"

"Well it depends on how bad the damage is..."

"Well she's not talking to me anymore, that's bad enough"

"Well I say that if you like her a lot than show her. Even if she's not talking to you, find a way of showing it..." After noticing that I was about to protest she quickly added "I don't mean bombard her with calls but be creative, do something she wouldn't expect"

"Like what Mum?"

"I don't know cook her favourite food? A surprise picnic in the park? Surprise her!" Mum said

"Thanks ma" I smiled.