Sweet Blasphemy (An Andrew Biersack Story) *WATTYS 2014*

Sweet Blasphemy 26

July, oh how I love you.

I took a deep breath of summer air. I missed this aboutL.A.; the summer weather.

I walked back into the living room from the balcony. The boys were sitting around talking about band stuff. I sat down next to Ashley on one of the sofas and just zoned out; I really didn’t care about what they were discussing.

After awhile Jeremy’s phone rang. No prizes for guessing who it was.

He hung up. “Right I’m off, I have to pick Sammi up from the studio. Later.”

Jeremy left so now it was just me, Ash, Jake, CC and Andy. Eppi’s in bed if you’re confused.

I looked at my watch; 10:35. “Hey Jake?”

“Yeah?” He looked up from his conversation with Andy.

“Aren’t you meant to Skype what’s-her-name in like ten minutes?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Fuck.” I heard him mutter as he quickly gathered his things and nearly ran out the door.

Then there were four…

BANG! The door flew open.

“CC you drove me here!” Jake sounded irritated.

CC gave a laid back shrug. “So?”

“So get off your ass and drive me home.” Jake grabbed his arm and dragged him from the apartment slamming the door behind them.

Ok, did I say four; I meant three.

An awkward silence set in and it started to drive me pretty crazy, pretty fast.

I said the first excuse that came to my head.

“I need a drink.” I made my swift escape into the kitchen.

I could hear Ashley and Andy talking but all it was were hushed mutters. I shrugged to myself; probably band stuff. I turned up the radio so I didn’t have to listen to them.

I finished my glass of water when a crash came from the living room.

I turned off the radio just to here Ashley shouting.

“Andy, don’t!”

I turned to go out only to find and very, very angry Andrew in the doorway. He glared at me as if the kill me on the spot with just that one look.

I cowered away. What was going on?

Andy took a step forward and I stepped back.

“Envy,” his voice was low and terrifying. “You’ve kept something important from me.”

All I could think was shit, shit and shit. I shook my head; too afraid to speak. By now he had me cornered against the counter top.

Ashley came to my rescue but Andy pushed he away and grabbed hold of my shoulders.

“Why!? Why didn’t you tell me!?” he shouted.

“I-I-I-I-I-

“She’s MINE! WHY ENVY?!”

I didn’t stop my tears; I wanted him to see how much this was scaring me.

“I-I left Andy…” I choked out in a whisper.

He shook me. “Envy! She’s. My. DAUGHTER! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!”

I just frantically shook my head. I was scared, that’s why I never told him. But now Ashley had.

He raised his hand and I tried to cower away. Don’t hit me, dear god don’t let him hit me, please.

I watched his eyes shine with tears he was trying so desperately not to shed. His lips were pressed together to try and hide his sobs.

I had done this to him; I’m worthless human being.

I began to shake uncontrollably from my crying. I was so scared.

“Andy.” Came my angel’s voice. “Don’t do it. Don’t hurt her like before.”

Andy’s hand dropped and I used this opportunity to push him away from me and make a break for it.

His hand wrapped around my arm as he stopped me. I pulled against his grip but his hold on me just tightened.

“Let-let me g-go!” I yelled at him.

“No.” he didn’t mask his tears that were now sliding from the corners of his eyes.

“Let m-me g-go!” I tried again and pulled against his grip.

“Why Envy?”  His voice was controlled.

“Because you-you’re hur-hurting m-me.”

“No, why Envy?” He blinked and more tears fell down his cheeks.

When I didn’t answer he tugged on my arm pulling me towards him. NO! I mentally screamed. What am I doing?! I mentally slapped myself and screamed for real this time. It threw him off a bit and I tore my arm from his grip and scrambled out of the kitchen with Andy not far behind me.

“Envy!”

“Get away from me!” I screamed as I ran from him. I ran down the hall and barely bypassed him as he tried to grab me again. No, I can’t face him.

I stumbled into my room and shut the door, locking it in the process.

“Envy! Open the door!” Andy shouted from the other side. He pounded on the door.

I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me.

I curled up on the floor beside my bed. I kept my eyes on the door.

I stayed like that for God knows how long.

I needed to see my baby; my mother senses were tingling.

I cautiously made my way to my door. I pressed an ear to it and listened. When I was met with a silence I slowly unlocked the door and stepped into the hall.

I left my door open as I quietly went to Eppi’s room. Her door was slightly ajar. Strange, I thought to myself.

I gently opened her door and stopped at the sight I saw.

“I never knew…I’m so sorry Eponine…” He whispered and I watched a tear fall from his eyes to her cheek.

He stood over her softly stroking her hair and her face.

“I promise I’ll be he best I can be…I never knew…”

I held my breath as I watched him. Damn…

I slipped back into my room shutting the door quietly behind me.

I lay in my bed and cried.