Chapter 1: Hopeless
Prologue: Hopeless
I don't remember how long I've been running for. If I thought on it, I probably could, but I can't. I can't think. I don't have time to think. I just have to keep moving. Even though I know it's hopeless. It won't matter how far I go. The hunters will catch me. They always do.
No matter what I do or where I go, I always fail. I'm not fast enough. I'm not strong enough. I cannot win, yet I still keep trying.
Why? Why do I drive myself knowing there is no hope? I don't understand it. Every time I try to stop, my heart aches. It isn't a physical ache, but a mental, emotional one. I feel like my heart is telling me that I haven't reached my destination, even though I've been on the move for months.
Each time I sleep-sometimes it's at night, sometimes by day, I don't sleep for very long-I have the same dream. The dream is of me running, of course, but it isn't me running away from anything. No. I'm running towards something. I'm running towards a voice calling my name, telling me that I'm almost there. The voice is musical and full of love and hope, calling to me.
Sometimes I think my subconscious is mocking me.
Still. Maybe I'm suicidal. Maybe I'm just stupid. But deep down, somewhere, there is a part of me that believes me heart is pulling me to the owner of that heavenly voice, which my subconscious has labeled my savior. I don't believe it. I can't be saved. I'm doomed to die one way or the other.
As I race against time, my mind swarms with questions that may never be answered, dreams that have been thrown into the wind and worries about the things to come.
I do not know what lies ahead for me. I dare not try to hope for the best, knowing that hoping will only bring disappointment and the reality of my situation crashing down on me. So what can I do, if not hope? I don't know.
I do, however, know one thing.
There is no hope for Isabella Marie Swan.
