Enough Is Enough

XII

Unlocking the door to his condo, Lindsey pushed it open and showed Stevie to go inside. When he said that his place was empty, clearly it was an understatement, now Stevie realized. 

"Is this how little you owned, when you lived with Kristen?" Stevie asked, carrying a couple of bags, while Lindsey handled the rest.

"No, I just haven't returned for everything else yet. Not that I'll need it now, I guess. Good thing I listened to Karen and set that limit." Lindsey laughed, while Stevie just rolled her eyes. "There should be a couple of plates in the kitchen." He said, giving Stevie the takeout bag. "And a microwave." 

"Dinner is going to be delicious!" Stevie scoffed, following Lindsey's directions as to where the kitchen was. 

"Diva!" Lindsey yelled after her.

About ten minutes later, the two of them were in what would be the living room, eating in silence. Lindsey only had a TV and a small coffee table with cushions laying around it.

"How can you live like this?" Stevie asked, holding the plate in her hand. "It's cute and romantic, when you do this on purpose every... three years or so, but every single day?"

"I'm mostly in the bedroom. There's a bad, I take my guitar and that's enough for me." Lindsey shrugged, shoveling food into his mouth. "I'll make sure I have a couple of those plastic chairs the next time you're here." He smirked. 

"You don't really love me, do you? We earn a lot more than plastic chairs."

Shrugging, Lindsey took a big gulp of coke from a can. "I just don't plan on living here for too long." Seeing Stevie's eyes widen, he continued speaking. "No, I'm not going to beg you to let me move in. I'll get in contact with my real estate agent some time soon for a new place to live."

"Don't you have a place to live though? I'm sure you own more than just one house."

"That's true, but... Every place has Kristen's input. I don't want that. I want a fresh start."

"Because you still have feelings for her?" Stevie asked, nearly wincing at her own question.

"Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable when you come see me." Lindsey replied calmly, much to Stevie's surprise. 

They finished dinner in comfortable silence. Stevie offered to do the dishes, while Lindsey went back to his car, saying he had forgotten something. When he returned, he found Stevie still in the kitchen, facing away, finishing off a glass of water. 

"Do you have a headache?" Lindsey asked, before jumping to conclusions. 

"No, why?"

"It seemed like you were taking something." She stiffened at the words, diverting her eyes from Lindsey's, attempting to move away from him too. "Stevie... I know."

"What? I'm not sure what you're talking about." She played dumb, but Lindsey gave her a look, then taking her by the hand, he led them to his bedroom, so they could sit and talk. 

"Don't be mad at her, but it was Karen who told me. She saw you taking some kind of pills. Then Christine said that when she visited you, you were not yourself. I noticed it at the airport as well..."

"It's nothing." Stevie shook her head, hoping to just brush it off.

"Baby, it's not nothing. Out of all people, you must know how addictive that kind of drugs are." He spoke softly, pulling her onto his lap, circling his arms around her waist. "It's my fault. I was horrible to you, I abandoned you, I made you feel as if you lost me and you thought you had to seek help. You don't, Steph. I'm back. I'm right here with you, baby." He kissed her shoulder, laying his head there. "I don't want to lose you. We've been through this before. I refuse to go back there again."

Stevie didn't say anything for a couple of minutes and Lindsey didn't push her. He waited until she decided to talk herself. "They're nothing like Klonopin. Those pills just keep me calm."

"No, Stevie. They mess you up. They're probably the reason why you're not screaming at me for bringing it up." He saw tears in her eyes and he tightened his hold on her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Shaking her head, Stevie told him it was nothing he said. "I'm just so stupid... I tell everyone how dangerous prescription pills are and here I am, taking them again. I don't know how this time was different, but when I told you to go, I honestly felt like you weren't coming back. I don't know why, but I just couldn't deal with it. I didn't want to cry or worry, I wanted the feeling to go away."

"But your feelings are exactly what makes you. Steph, if they disappear, you disappear. I'd rather have you yell at me for something I did, shut the door in my face, call me an idiot and tell me to never contact you again, than have just a shelf of who you are, babe. I'm so glad Karen told me, because I knew something was wrong, I just didn't know what exactly. Now I do and I will be the best partner to you, so you wouldn't have to think about taking some kind of pill. I was going to say that I will never do anything to make you mad again, but we both know that's a lie." That got a small laugh from Stevie and Lindsey smiled. "This is how I want you; smiling, laughing, crying, being angry - being you."

"I haven't been using them for long, but I know they change me." Stevie admitted, dropping her head low, feeling embarrassed. 

"It's okay. Most importantly you realize that they do. I swear to you, Steph, things are going to be different. From now on you'll have me. Yes, I'll drive you crazy, but you'll have me to take it all out on and not shut down instead with help from a drug."

"It sounds good..." She trailed off, obviously keeping something to herself.

"But?"

"I'm afraid."

"Oh what?"

"I'm afraid that if I'm being my crazy bitch self, we're going to argue and fight. It will all fall apart and..."

"No, baby. That's not going to happen. I've wasted enough time. Now that I'm with you again, I promise, I'll do everything to keep us from breaking up. You're stuck with me, Nicks. Deal with it."

She chuckled a little, facing him, as he met her halfway for a kiss. "You'll have to help me, Linds."

Nodding his head, he assured her. "Anything for you, baby."