Enough Is Enough

II

What Stevie said, it was all true, Lindsey couldn't deny any of it, but it still bothered him. He didn't want to be constantly reminded of the mistakes he had made and the promises he couldn't keep. He kept asking her for more time, but the truth was, they didn't really have time anymore. Lindsey feared that eventually Stevie's patience was going to run out and she'll move on from him. They both knew it was highly doubtful, but...

Leaving enough money to cover the bill, Lindsey left the restaurant and marched to his car, getting inside, he slammed the door shut with force. He looked around, hoping to see Stevie, thinking that Karen couldn't have possibly come so quickly. What he didn't know was that Karen had never left in the first place. She just had a feeling. Having spent several minutes in the parking lot, Lindsey sighed and started the engine. He didn't go home straight away, instead, he spent a couple of hours just driving around, until he found himself walking along the shore of the ocean. It had gotten dark already, but he didn't mind, as he walked without a particular destination.

It was past midnight, when Lindsey entered the house he shared with his wife and children. Will was gone, only the girls. Kicking off his boots, Lindsey checked the first floor, finding no one. LeeLee and Stella had to be asleep, obviously, so he went in search of Kristen. 

A frown settled upon his face, when Lindsey found the bedroom door closed, a pillow and a blanket laid on the floor next to it. He tried the door knob, but it was locked, yet he saw the light coming from underneath. 

"Kristen, what the hell?" He said loudly enough for her to hear, not wanting to wake his daughters up. There was no movement on the other side, nor did he receive a verbal response. "Can we not play games? I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

A minute later, the bedroom door opened after all. "Then go to the guest room or sleep on the couch. Didn't you see these?" She pointed to the pillow on top of the comforter.

"I did, but I don't get it." Lindsey said, pushing his way past his wife into the room, beginning to shed his clothes.

"Lindsey, I really don't want you in bed with me."

"Why? What's wrong with you?" He tossed his leather jacket away, moving on to unbuckle his belt.

"What's wrong with me?" She scoffed, closing the door. "You've just come home from another woman's embrace and you ask me why I don't think that's alright?"

Frowning, Lindsey slumped down on the bed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb. I know you were with Stevie. I saw her at that restaurant, she looked nervous. She also said, she was waiting for a friend, so I left and stayed in my car for five more minutes, seeing you entering the same damn restaurant!" 

"And? We only met to have lunch and talk."

"Yeah, right..." Kristen let out a heavy breath. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Lindsey."

"Oh, give me a break! I wasn't in bed with Stevie, we spent twenty minutes tops together!"

"Maybe not today, you weren't. You also know that's not what I'm saying. What I mean is that I'm tired of living like this. How do you think it makes me feel, when I know you're going to her? When you leave the house so excited, because you're going to her? When I know that you kiss her? When you touch her? When you... when you have sex with her? When you come home to me smelling of her?" A tear escaped and Kristen didn't bother wiping it away. Maybe he needed to see how much he'd been hurting her.

Lindsey didn't speak up for a long time and when he did, Kristen wanted to slap him. "You agreed. You said, you would be fine with it."

"I was young! I was blinded with love for a man, who didn't belong to me! Besides that, I was pregnant. I was scared! Of course I agreed, because I didn't know what else to do, how to live my life if you left. I didn't want to be a single mother, more than that I wanted my child to have a father. At that time, it seemed better to share you, than not have you at all."

"Then why are you telling me this now, huh? We could have gone our separate ways after Will was born. You knew I would never abandon him! Why get married? Why have more children?" Lindsey yelled back. "It was convenient for you, wasn't it? You got comfortable, thanks to the lifestyle I've provided."

"Why did you stay?" Kristen asked, sniffling. "Why didn't you just go back to her?" She then answered her own question. "She didn't want you back, did she?"

That was true. After Lindsey came clean about him and Kristen, Stevie kicked him out. They were casually seeing each other at the time, but they were both aware of their feelings and they knew that what they had then, eventually would have led them to something a lot more. Stevie completely ignored Lindsey for a long time. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to hear from him. They reunited one night during the recording of Trouble in Shangri-La, when Lindsey showed up at her doorstep, guitar case in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. 

"I was second best." Kristen stated. "Do you love me at all?"

"I love you for giving me children." Lindsey admitted. 

"How is she so much better? I'm younger than her, I'm in perfect shape. Isn't it what men want? Someone to flaunt around?"

"It's not about the looks. Although, Stevie has always been the most beautiful woman in my eyes." Glancing briefly at Kristen, Lindsey continued. "You won't understand. She's just... She's my first true love and I've not been able to move on since the second I laid my eyes on her."

"You don't think this is completely wrong? You telling your wife these things about your mistress?"

Sighing, Lindsey shrugged his shoulders. "You knew all of this from the start, Kristen. You knew what you were getting yourself into."

"You're a heartless bastard. I should hate her, I should be mad at her, but I can't be, because it's you. It's you, who can't make up his fucking mind and stop stringing both of us along. You're a coward, Lindsey Buckingham. You're still with me, because I'm the safe choice out of the two. You're afraid that you'll have a fight with her the second you start something between the two of you. And once you walk out, there will not be a way back. So, you're scared to do anything at all."

It wasn't very often that Lindsey was left speechless, but at this exact moment, he had nothing to say. Kristen was completely right, but he couldn't admit it out loud and saying something else... well, there was nothing else to say.

"I would like for you to leave." Kristen managed, with conviction in her voice.

"This is my house."

"Quite frankly, I don't care. Go, Lindsey. Come back, when you've made some kind of decision."

What now?