The Unwanted Wedding

Chapter 30- Roiling Turmoil

Oh, My Most Dearest Diary,

Today was an incredible act of God's work! As if I had some hinted calling I had put on my rubies, rubies for Duchess! Rubies that were sent to me not one week ago. Sent with the single word; Beloved. And I get a letter in the mail today. Even his script was breathtaking. But not as breathtaking as his words that rendered me speechless. They made me forget about my lowly gown of a mix of a deep blue and turquoise. They made me imagine gowns made of jewels and glittering with embellishments. Fine silks, soft chiffons.

Such heady words telling of longing, of love and of such a intoning mixture of lust. Such heartbreaking tales of his loneliness. All of this unconditional love that I feel has been bestowed upon me. Me! These rubies were thrice the worth of the dreary house I call home. One day, I shall have my own home. A stylish one, fashionable, one of class. A home I can be proud of. My love promised me that. Protection under his love. To have such love, security, and something to depend on. It was so romantic, being courted. I felt like a princess....

I jumped in surprise as I heard my husband calling out "Rey!" from downstairs repeatedly as he was coming up. That's what he was now, "my husband", I was no longer able to use the trusted name of 'Vincent' as I was not trusted. He had made that very clear. He showed concern enough to make sure I ate when I didn't feel like eating, that I sleep through the night peacefully once I had finish sobbing. He even bathed me as I sat lifeless in the cold marble tub.

I carefully set the diary down, and sat up in the lush chair I was seated in under I toasty woolen blanket keeping my body heated along with my long sleeved nightgown, black for mourning. I looked bleakly up at him as he entered the study. "Yes, Husband?"

He took a moment to gaze at me, biting his lower lip and crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not in bed. I went looking for you, I thought you'd be there." I gave a soft, 'sorry, husband' but gave no other response. His eyes narrowed to pale slits. "Come to bed, it far past ten. And you need to take care of yourself to care for the baby."

I stood, " Yes, Husband. Of course, how careless of me. Thank you, husband, for reminding me." I tried to sound sweet, but the most it came out as a bland tinge of interest. I was forced to pause at the door as Vincent's arm cracked across to block my path. I swallowed a shaky breath. I wasn't scared of him. I wasn't. He had just lack predictability since-since a few days ago. I didn't look up at him, I didn't dare to. I closed my eyes as I felt his rough stubbled jaw nuzzle against my cheek, my neck, inhaling the scent from my hair. The hand gripping the doorframe dropped and framed my face in his palm. My eyes remained closed as I felt the soft brush of his lips, the caress of his breath, the smooth skin of his nose as he showed a mood of affection.

"I want to be inside you...." It was so soft I wasn't sure it was real until I opened my eyes and met his. Vincent searched my face; I could feel the heat of his body standing so close.

My breath stumbled, "Vin-Yes, Husband" I broke away from him and blindly made my way to our bedroom. Vincent followed me slowly. Almost reluctantly, I thought, before I remembered he had made a demand of me. It had been nights since the last time we shared our bed from something other than sleep. I couldn't help to feel a small twinkle of joy; I wanted to feel that love again. Even if it was only a small amount.

When I reached the room I attempted to remove the modest nightgown, but my hand and arm was bandaged and not yet healed, complicating the process. When I heard his footsteps reaching the door frame my heart quickened to get the task down. But it was no use.

"Stop. Just, stop." I heard the tiredness in his tone, the seeping. He was falling out of the mood.

I panicked, "No, I- No, husband, I can do it. I-I-I can..."