Summer Love - 1D

Chapter thirty five: Summer Love

Nina P.O.V

Sadie just had that effect on me, which did that she could make me answer anything, someway it was pretty annoying! But still, it was good that she could talk with me about it. Cause when I first told her my problems, then I was so glad she had come. It was actually almost the only thing I was glad about. Even if Sadie had tried to convince me that Niall would forgive me, and it all would be good again, I still doubted it.. All the things I had said to him that day, they just reminded me more and more of how big of a terrible person I was to him. Even in my sorrow period where my thoughts had driven around in a giant mess and I had rejected him because I hated him so much…  I still regretted it all. But I couldn´t contact him now, he had stopped calling and texting me, and I had deleted all of our messages, calls… everything. Like it all had never happened…

That´s also what made me so angry at myself. I had wished to forget him, forget how sweet he was to me, forget how it felt when I held his hand in mine, felt him embrace me… Or felt the rushing feeling when I felt his lips against mine. I would forget it all... and a big part of me would still forget him, but again there was a small part of me wish sincerely wanted him back. I was split… Everyone would pull at me in school and be friends with me, just to use me. Then I would get hurt… but I was already hurt… So there was nothing to lose. The problem was just that it was him who had told it, even though he knew how much I was against it! And that´s what I hated him for… but then again, a small part of me didn´t freaking care and kept telling me inside my head, that I should forget what people think and get Niall back again. I knew which part of me that told me that. My heart.

”What´s up beautiful, have you come out in the sun?” A laughing voice asked behind me. I turned around and saw Sadie who came walking down to our private part of the beach, with a bikini and giant beach bag. I quickly smiled to her and turned my attention to the sea again. It seemed so calming… I had always listened to it from my room through my open balcony door, but it was way better to sit down on the street and listened to it real. I didn´t care about the sun, so I sat up straight with my legs pulled into me and my arms resting on my knees. Sadie laid her towel next to me and laid down on her back.

”Isn´t it just lovely?” She asked contently. I smiled a little and removed my hand so I could dig in the sand. You know, like a timekiller.

“How are you feeling?” Sadie asked. I sighed a little. Every time we were alone (Which was pretty often, because I mostly was in my room or down here and then she joined me later on) She asked me about how I was feeling. I knew she cared about me, but I wasn´t like in a depression or a crisis… Or was I?

I sighed a little to myself… I sighed almost all the time, maybe because it was easier than talking about the problem so I wouldn´t get sad… Ok, I was maybe in a little depressive crisis. Or a lot.

”What about… any changings?” She asked, I looked a little at her and then shook my head.

“Neither from your side? Haven´t you consider anything?” She asked. I just looked irritated at her and shook my head. She sighed a little, my sighing infected her.

”I still think that when you get home you should..”

“You´ve already said that! And I don´t know yet!” I said irritated and threw some sand away. She just snorted.

“Nina, you know I just want to help you, but you... You won´t get anyway this way. Before you know it he´s gone.” She said. I just shook my head and looked out on the surging waves again.

“I´m thinking.” I said, Sadie quickly sat up and poked to me.

”And you´d still do if you don´t start something.” She said. I closed my eyes resignedly.