If Zaspar Was Real

23: You Saved Me

Zoe's POV

My breathing starts to pace up. I run straight to the toilet, tripping on my way. I couldn't breathe. It felt as though my lungs were being squeezed by someone or something large. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't even see myself properly. Everything was a blur.

Just then, I saw something shiny. Something sharp. My blade. I've kept it high in the cupboard but I was too tempted by now. If I do it, I have nothing to lose. No one cares about me anymore. I've lost everything. If I stay, I'd just suffer more.

I reach out for the blade, hitting my head on the edge of the cupboard as I couldn't see. Finally, I picked it up. I started tearing. Everything I've done for the past 26 years had to lead me to this. Is it really worth it? But is it also worth staying? I took out the case and just as the blade was going to pierce through my skin, someone knocks it away.

"Zoe, what the hell?" I know this person. The voice is familiar. It takes me time and lots of effort to finally look up.

"Caspar?" Was I dreaming? Why am I thinking about him? I touched him, he was real. He was here.

"What do you think you're doing?" He hugs me.

"I...I was..." But the shiny blade distracts me. I was so close to ending it all. Why did he have to stop me? "I need to do this, Casp. I love you." I say reaching out for the blade but he holds me back.

"No, Zoe!" He stands in front of me.

"What are you doing Caspar?!" I push my way through but he was too strong. "Get out of my way!" I hit him, but I guess it didn't hurt as he didn't even move the slightest bit. No Caspar, you shouldn't have done this.

Caspar's POV

What the hell is Zoe thinking? There's no way I can let her go, just like that. 

"Caspar let go of me." She squeals, hitting me as I hold her close to my chest. "I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do this anymore." She sinks to the floor. "I've lost everything. I'm suffering. I've nothing to look forward to anymore. He used me. I just want to go. I won't lose anything."

"But I would lose you." I wipe her tears.

"I've yet to answer my viewers. They hate me. They all hate me now. I won't even get a job. Everyone hates me. They all believe him. What am I going to do? I can't do YouTube anymore. I...I don't have a life anymore. I've lost everything." She stands up.

"Zoe, are you okay?"

"Y-yes. I can...N-no, I'm not." She runs to the kitchen. Suddenly breathing faster than before. She looks around her apartment. "Where am I?" She screams. "I...Why?!" She pulls her hair and I rush to her.

"Zoe, hold your breath, Zoe." Shit, she's having a panic attack as I've read about it somewhere before. She walks away from me, slowly taking one step away.

"Don't come near me." She cries. "I've lost everything." Suddenly, she falls and knocks one of her glass bowls over.

"Zoe!" I say, running to her.

"I can't, I can't breathe." She attempts to speak with every breath. No no no, this can't be happening. I can't lose her like this. I rush to the tap to get her glass of water but she knocks the glass over. "I've lost everything!" She repeats, looking around her apartment then hitting her own head.

"Try and slow your breathing." One of the ways to stop a panic attack.

"I can't. I can't." She places a hand on her chest as she whimpers.

"Zoe, look at me." I place my hands on her cheeks as she tries hard to distract herself, but she can't. She starts breathing faster and there was only one thing left to do. I closed my eyes and crashed my lips against hers. She doesn't pull away. Her lips are cold, and so are her cheeks. I run my hand against her hair and she stays calm, leaving me free to help her. We pull away just as soon as her shoulders relax. I open my eyes and so does she, staring at me but her breathing has slowed down.

"How did you do that?" She asks, our faces just barely an inch away.

"I uh..." I bite my lips. "I read once that holding your breath could stop a panic attack. So when I kissed you, you held your breath." I look into her eyes and notice how red it is, despite her having one of the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen.

She looks at me. "I did?"

"Yeah. You did."

Zoe's POV

"Thanks," I reply. I didn't know what to say, I was confused. No one has been able to stop my panic attacks, right until this moment.

"You're welcome." He smiles. He saved me. And all I could say was thanks? He stares at me again and so do I. Not knowing what to so next, I give him a kiss on his lips and for a moment, I just want everything in the world to turn off. I want Caspar all to myself. He, he's different. And I loved it. 

"Thank you." I place my hand on his cheeks. "You're really smart."

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Yes! Yes! Yes! This is Stydia for all you Teen Wolf fans. I'm a die-hard shipper so I had to do it. I hope you're okay with it. Also, sorry for the many changes of POVs, it's for a better perspective of the story.