A Book of Poetry

A Loss

Quick pace, beating, drumming, going far to fast. This tightening in my chest I'm afraid it will not last. Soft words, friendly talk, flirting back and forth. As much as I may like you I know this will only end in hurt. Drawn out stares, sparkling smiles, cheeks that have begun to hurt. The things you do now promise me, I know are only words. Wanting you, needing you, craving just a touch. Your voice may calm me deeply but I know I can't hope for much. Planning, praying, wishing for the best. I can't but help think now we will soon be put to the test. Awkward silence, empty words, a voice that cannot reach me. Everything I feared has now come to be. You ask for space, push me away, use the classic its not you its me. I wish that I could hate you, move on like it were a dream. Aching, yearning, missing you so desperately. Everything around me now makes me hurt so openly. A pain so deep, it stops your breath, leaving you gaging for air. Sobs that render you paralyzed and writhing for what's fair. An ache so crippling, so powerful, overwhelming to the core. I want to lie here panting, clinging to the floor. Deafening silence clouds my world, my head constantly in a dream. Making up scenarios that bring you back to me. Its unhealthy, I'm unwell, slowly dying on the inside. Delusionally set in my fantasy, this is my own private hell.