DARK DREAMS~BOTDF STORY~

hunting.

     DAHVIE'S POV                                       

              Is it bad that I liked holding Jayy like this? Sure I love him but I’m not in love with him. I cant be. I’m straight, always have been always will be. In his sleep he cuddled closer to me. I took in a sharp breathe. Why did this feel so-so right? I slowly shook my head. I’m just lonely I told myself. that’s why I love feeling close to Jayy. He could be anyone and I would be content with having them next to me. I had to talk to someone. I had to talk to Sally. I glanced out the window. It was still dark out so it was really early in the morning. I sighed. Its going to have to wait until morning. I looked down at Jayy. He had a grin on his face. Its like when I held him his nightmares went away. I was still wondering what the hell his dream had really been about. He had obviously only told me part of it. What could the other part have been? Did it involve me or something? For some reason I felt like it did. I wonder what he is dreaming about now? It had to be something good. I suddenly got the urge to kiss his lips gently. Just to feel them against mine again. Wait! What the fuck am I thinking? Ugh I need to find a new girlfriend or I’m going to lose my fucking mind. Why am I thinking about Jayy like this. He is like my brother, he is my best friend. For the second time tonight I told myself I’m just lonely. I sighed again and closed my eyes. When I opened them again there was light coming in from the window. Jayy was still cradled in my arms. I gently set him down beside me, thankful for the first time ever that he was such a heavy sleeper. I walked into the kitchen and saw Sally eating a bowl of cereal. Gotta love Sally. She just makes herself at home. When she saw me she looked shocked “wow” she said “you’re up before noon. What’s the occasion?” I rolled my eyes and sat next to her. “I need to talk to you” she heard the seriousness in my voice and turned towards me. “what is it?” she asked. I sighed and said “I’m so confused. Lately I have been feeling something towards Jayy” she smiled. What the fuck is she so amused about? This is serious. “what about that amuses you?” I asked scowling. She giggled and said “you sound just like Jayy did before he went gay” I glared. I had to keep my voice down or I would have yelled but instead I whispered. “I am NOT gay. I’m just lonely. I need to find a girlfriend and when I do all of these weird feelings will go away” she looked at me seriously and said “Dahvie maybe you need to open up your heart and mind a little. See the real you. I think you’re in love with Jayy” I glared and said for the second time “its nothing I’m just lonely” Sally laughed and said “yeah Dahv just keep telling yourself that” I was about to walk away when I turned towards her “only Jayy can call me Dahv” she smiled triumphantly and said “yeah you totally love him more than just a friend” I glared and walked back into Jayy’s room. Wait why don’t I just go back to my room? I shrugged to myself. He might get upset if he doesn’t see me with him when he wakes up. I sneakily crept back into his bed under the covers. I pulled him back into my arms, just watching him sleep. ‘wow Edward Cullen moment’ I thought to myself. He almost as if by cue snuggled closer into my chest. He mumbled something. I had known that he talked into his sleep but never paid attention to what he said. I leaned my ear closer to him and heard him say “yeah so what if I do love Dahvie? He doesn’t care” I felt my heart tremble at his words. I suddenly felt regret and joy. He loves me! Wait why did that make me happy? But I also felt regret because I felt like I had hurt him. Why would he think that I wouldn’t care? Would I? do I? I sighed and put my head on top of his. I closed my eyes and suddenly felt him stir in my arms. He looked at me and smiled his beautiful smile. Ugh I’m losing it. “morning Dahv” I smiled back and kissed his head “g’morning” I whispered back. Why does his smile melt my heart? Ugh tonight I’m going girl hunting. I have got to stop this shit. I’m not gay and I know it. I just know I don’t really have true feelings for Jayy. I’m just lonely. I need someone in my life to love me. And I know that Jayy does. Even if it is just as a brother. He still made me feel loved. that’s the only reason I feel the way I do when I’m with him. That has to be it.

JAYY'S POV

I woke up wrapped tightly in Dahvie’s arms.. I don’t know why but it made me feel like I did when I thought Daniel loved me. “morning Dahv” I whispered. He was awake and smiled saying “g’morning”. he kissed my forehead. I love it when he does that. I didn’t wanna get up. I wanted to stay in Dahvie’s arms for as long as I could. I had to stop myself from thinking about loving Dahvie. I cant fall in love with him. Its bad enough that I’ve had a crush on him for years. I cant let myself get hurt. I just cant let myself fall in love with my vest friend. “you wanna get up and have some breakfast?” he asked. I looked at the battery powered alarm clock I had near my TV. 9:19. I quickly shook my head “nah I’ll probably not go back to sleep but I’m just going to watch TV for a while” Dahvie looked at me. “how do you know the power is back on?” I giggled quietly. Wow blonde moment. “Dahvie, my fan is back on. What do you think?” he laughed and said “oh duh” slapping his forehead. I laughed again and said “why don’t you go get some breakfast” he thought for a minute and then said “I don’t know. Can I just hang out with you for awhile?” why did him saying that make my heart flutter? I nodded and whispered “sure” I grinned at him and he grinned back. I was happy that he wanted to hang out with me, even though I knew it was only because he had missed me when I was hurt. My ribs did still hurt a little but not nearly as bad. I grabbed the TV remote off of my bedside table and switched the TV on. Dahvie suddenly sighed and asked. “Jayy? What was it like when you were falling off of the patio?” I had to think for a minute. To choose the right way to word it. “well it was like flying almost as peaceful too…until” I didn’t finish, I couldn’t. I hated remembering his scream. It had just sounded so broken so terrified. Almost like he was watching himself fall. “until what?” Dahvie asked tenderly. I sighed and whispered “until I heard you scream” he frowned and whispered “you heard that?” I nodded and whispered “yeah it hurt me more than the actual impact of the ground. You just don’t realize how petrified you sounded” he nodded and I swore I saw a tear go down his cheek. “watching you fall” he paused and took in a deep breathe. “it felt like my entire world came crashing down. Like it should have been me instead of you” I frowned and hugged Dahvie. He was so sweet. “Dahvie if it had been you instead of me, I wouldn’t be here” he got wide eyed. “you would have killed yourself if it had been me?” I nodded “yeah I probably would. When I was falling I didn’t even care that I was going todie. But then I heard you tell Haley that you loved me. It gave me strength to fight” he smiled and said “you’re my best friend. How could I not love you?” I nodded. I wished he loved me more. I wanted to slap myself. Stop falling for him. He isn’t going to feel the same way about you. Sally suddenly walked into the room and said “Jayy come here. I’ve gotta talk to you.” I sighed and pulled Dahvie’s arms off of me. I stood and followed Sally into the guest room. “what’s up?” I asked. She sighed and said “Jayy do you love Dahvie more than just a friend?” I blushed. “I don’t know. It feels like I’m starting to but I don’t wanna get hurt so I’m fighting it. Why?” she nodded and whispered. “I think Dahvie might be falling for you too” I was shocked. “why do you say that?” I asked. She better have a good explanation. “well he came to me this morning and practically told me he was. But then again he was denying it. He is going to try and find a girlfriend. He thinks he is only feeling the way he is because he is lonely” I sighed. “well that’s probably for the better. We could never be together” Sally looked calmly at me “and why do you think that Jayy?” wow. I love Sally but she is so fucking blind “Sally, he is straight! Why would he fall for a guy?” she sighed and hugged me. “you will figure it out Jayy. You will see for yourself that he is falling for you” I hugged her back and then walked back to my room. Dahvie was watching Spongebob. I guess nothing else was on. I laid down next to him and sighed. “what did she need?” Dahvie asked. I sighed again. “to give me advice” he nodded and didn’t ask anymore questions. Did he already know? Did he not care? Either way I was still pretty happy. I got my best friend and he does love me unconditionally. No matter if it isn’t as much as I want him to. I know he never will. Hell knowing him he will go out tonight and come back with a girlfriend. Hopefully this one wont be a bitch.