"Daring" Dashwood's Wasteland Wanders

Episode X11: Cassandra's Conversation

Episode X11: Cassandra's Conversation

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) You’re listening to the Adventures of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle. Today’s episode? “Cassandra's Conversation”.

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO 0 M 10 S.

SCENE: INTERIOR.

HARMON JURLEY: Well, Penelope, it seems we meet again. You know, I used to admire you. I wanted to be as clever and devious as you are - and as rich. But it seems that the student has surpassed the master – look who's been captured by whom, after all. (THOUGHTFULLY) I must admit, Penelope, I never expected that you, of all people, would betray us. And to save a bumbling fool like Daring Dashwood, no less!

CASSANDRA: (WEARILY) I've told you, I'm not your old boss. I'm Penelope's sister. And I'm engaged to Will, not to his brother.

HARMON JURLEY: Lay off it, Penelope. We worked together for years - I know who you are. I'm not as stupid as your Dashwood boys. Not that it matters. (GLOATING) This lovely collar -

SOUND EFFECT: FIST RAPPING TWICE ON METAL

HARMON JURLEY: This lovely collar will keep you in line, until we're ready to deal with you.

CASSANDRA: Deal with me? (NERVOUSLY) What does that mean? Are you going to kill me?

HARMON JURLEY: (USES A CASUAL TONE, THE LACK OF MALICE IN HIS VOICE MAKING THE TOPIC THAT MUCH MORE DISTURBING) Kill you? I see you've forgotten how this business works - killing prisoners is just a waste, don't you think? No, no, I have more profitable plans.

CASSANDRA: (INSULTED) So you're going to sell me?

HARMON JURLEY: I considered keeping you for myself. It would be a good example for the others. They would have had the chance to see, on a daily basis, what I do to people who cross me. But I consider myself a business man, and there is very little profit in keeping you, Penelope. Of course you will be sold. The question is, to whom?

TWO SECOND PAUSE WHILE JURLEY WAITS FOR A RESPONSE. CASSANDRA DOES NOT REPLY.

HARMON JURLEY: I thought of sending you north to the Pitt. The thought of you in the mills of that radiation-soaked hellhole is appealing. But I decided that wasn't humiliating enough, considering the gravity of your crime against us. It'll be a lot of trouble for us to arrange, but I've decided to sell you west, instead. As in, almost as far west as the Colorado.

CASSANDRA: The Colorado? You can't mean -

HARMON JURLEY: The Legion? Oh, but I do. As I said, it won't be easy to arrange, considering the distance. But I'm confident that it can be done. I think those Legion boys will appreciate you. Besides, the idea of you learning to beg for mercy in Latin amuses me. Greatly.

SOUND EFFECT: KNOCK ON DOOR

 HARMON JURLEY: (ANNOYED) Yes? What is it?

SOUND EFFECT: DOOR CREAKS OPEN

SLAVER #1: (NERVOUSLY) Boss? There's a man at the main entrance with a mini nuke, asking for Penelope.

HARMON JURLEY: Dashwood!

SLAVER #1: It can't be - this guy has a beard.

HARMON JURLEY: Some lackey of Dashwood's then. I will see to this. Excuse me, Penelope. We'll continue our conversation later.

END SCENE

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting Adventure of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle!

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO END

(For the Fallout fans: Yes, Harmon Jurley is much more sane here than you're told he is in the game - but I think it's more fun this way. And yes, I have been playing a lot of “New Vegas” lately. However could you tell? )