Episode X22: Tickled Pink.
THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)
HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) You’re listening to the Adventures of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle. Today’s episode? “Tickled Pink”.
THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO 0 M 10 S.
SCENE: INTERIOR. SUBTLE HUM OF STEALTH BOY CAN BE HEARD THROUGHOUT SCENE
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: Well, now that Argyle has kindly incapacitated Mr. Jurley, let's see what I can do with this lock.
SOUND EFFECT: SNICK. SHORT PAUSE, THEN METALLIC THUD, GROAN AS CAGE DOOR OPENS
ARGYLE: Nice work, boss.
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: The door is open, sir and madam.
CASSANDRA: But what about these exploding collars?
ARGLYE: Heh, even without the control, I could defuse this slaver junk within 30 seconds. With the control -
HARMON JURLEY: Hah! You thought you managed to knock me unconscious, but I have the control in my very hand, and I'll use it to -
SOUND EFFECT: THUD!
HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: Good work, Argyle!
ARGYLE: (SMUG) No problem, boss. Now, I'll take that control -
SOUND EFFECT: CLICK! THEN CLUNK OF COLLARS FALLING TO FLOOR
CASSANDRA: We're free!
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: But how will we get past the guards at the gate?
ARGYLE: Simple, Mr. Wilberforce. Just put on one of these.
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: You brought enough Stealth Boys for each of us?
ARGYLE: Yes. I knew you two wouldn't leave the dame behind.
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: Argyle, Cassandra isn't -
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: (INTERRUPTS WILBERFORCE) Explain later! Quick, Argyle, those Stealth Boys!
SOUND EFFECT: SUBTLE HUM JUMPS IN VOLUME THREE TIMES
END SCENE
PAUSE OF APPROXIMATELY TWO SECONDS BETWEEN SCENES
SCENE: INTERIOR. CLATTER OF CUTTLERY.
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: Safe and sound in my own cabin – thanks to you, Argyle.
ARGYLE: (MODEST) Well, the slavers weren't too bright, boss. Pass me that ant nectar, Mr. Wilberforce?
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: Only if you pass it right back, Argyle. It's brilliant with these sweetrolls. Incidentally, Cassandra and I have been talking.
CASSANDRA: We must thank you for all you've done for us.
ARGYLE: Shucks, Miss Chase, it was nothing.
CASSANDRA: You did a great deal. Thank you. And I want to thank you, too, Mr. Dashwood.
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: You're marrying my brother - no need to be so formal! Call me “Daring”.
CASSANDRA: All right. Well, thank you, (PAUSES) Daring.
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: (DELIGHTED) No, thank you, Miss Chase - er, Cassandra.
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: Speaking of names - well, you tell them, Cassandra.
CASSANDRA: Someday, if Will and I have a son, we'd like to name him -
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: (INTERRUPTS CASSANDRA) You can't call a child "Daring"! Ridiculous!
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: No, no, Bertie, we were thinking -
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: (INTERRUPTS WILBERFORCE) I will not allow you to name my poor nephew "Herbert".
CASSANDRA: Mr. Dash - er, Daring, you’ve got it all wrong.
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: What do you intend to call the infant, then?
CASSANDRA: Actually -
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: We were thinking "Argyle".
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: (SHOCKED) What?
ARGYLE: "Argyle Dashwood", eh? I like it!
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: (WEARILY) I suppose it will do.
WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: Oh, and don't forget about the wedding.
CASSANDRA: St. Monica's, Rivet City, three weeks from Tuesday.
HERBERT "DARING" DASHWOOD: Rivet City? Did I ever tell you about the time Argyle and I -
ARGYLE: Aw, come on, boss, I didn't think that plane could still fly!
(PLAYFUL EX TEMP. BANTER BETWEEN DASHWOOD AND ARGYLE CONTINUES UNTIL START OF VOICE-OVER)
END SCENE
THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)
HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting Adventure of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle!
THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO END
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"Daring" Dashwood's Wasteland Wanders
FanfictionDaring Dashwood - gentleman adventurer, or bumbling idiot? Find out as he and his valet, Argyle, brave the post-apocalyptic Capital Wasteland. Follow the continuing adventures of Herbert "Daring" Dashwood in this series of short scripts based on Fa...
