"Daring" Dashwood's Wasteland Wanders

Episode X18: Argyle Alone

 Episode X18: Argyle Alone

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) You’re listening to the Adventures of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle. Today’s episode? “Argyle Alone”.

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO 0 M 10 S.

SCENE: EXTERIOR.

ARGYLE: Well, I've made almost a complete circuit of Paradise Falls. The place is guarded like a Brotherhood of Steel scribe guards a pile of old books! I'm never gonna get in. (LAUGHS RUEFULLY) What I need is to find a secret passage through a mysterious cave. (SCOFFING) Like that'll happen.

SOUND EFFECT: WALKING. THIS EFFECT CONTINUES THROUGHOUT ARGYLE'S SPEECH

ARGYLE: Though, there was that cave back there. (THOUGHTFUL) I wonder - (WALKING SOUND SLOWS SLIGHTLY) Naw. (WALKING SOUND RETURNS TO NORMAL PACE) Then again - (WALKING SOUND STOPS) It's useful to have a secret exit, ain't it? So you could get out of a place quickly, if you had to? I'm going to go check out that cave.

SOUND EFFECT: HURRIED WALKING

END SCENE

PAUSE OF APPROXIMATELY TWO SECONDS BETWEEN SCENES

SCENE: INTERIOR. ARGYLE'S VOICE SOUNDS HOLLOW, WITH A VERY SLIGHT ECHO. OCCASIONAL SOUND OF DRIPPING WATER.

ARGYLE: Hmm, this is a pretty big cave. There's lots of light here, near the entrance, but it gets kind of dark towards the back. Lots of litter sitting around in here, too - boxes, tin cans, empty bottles. (PAUSE) Focus, Argyle. You gotta find a way into that compound.

SOUND EFFECTS: SCUFFLING, HESITANT STEPS, THEN A METALLIC CRASH

ARGYLE: Stupid box! (PAUSE) Stupid, weird-looking box. I wonder what you'd put in a box like that? Pre-war tech, I bet. Aw, what the heck, I'll open it.

SOUND EFFECTS: METALLIC SOUND, GRUNTING, THEN, SLOWLY, A CREAK AS THE BOX IS PRIED OPEN

ARGYLE: (DISAPPOINTED) Bunch of junk. Pre-war junk, but junk. (VOICE BRIGHTENS) Except for these - Stealth Boys! These things reflect the light, bending it around you so you're virtually invisible. Now, let's see here . . .

SOUND EFFECT: SUBTLE HUM

ARGYLE: Well, look at that, I can't even see myself! I guess I don't need a secret passage after all.

END SCENE

PAUSE OF APPROXIMATELY TWO SECONDS BETWEEN SCENES

SCENE: EXTERIOR. SUBTLE HUM CONTINUES THROUGHOUT TO INDICATE THAT ARGYLE IS USING THE “STEALTH BOY” DEVICE.

ARGYLE: Ah, I'm almost back at the rock where I left Mr. Wilberforce. I'll give him one of the Stealth Boys, so that he can get up and stretch his legs a little without worrying about being seen. And I'll use the other one to sneak in and get the boss.

SOUND EFFECTS: WALKING. SHORT PAUSE. WALKING AGAIN, THIS TIME MORE QUICKLY. WALKING THEN SLOWS DOWN.

ARGYLE: This is the right rock, ain't it? So where's Mr. Wilberforce? If that idiot went wandering around, I'll hit him with a shovel myself. (PAUSE) Footprints! Uh-oh, two sets of footprints. No, three! They chased him. (PAUSE) And he fell. (PAUSE) And they captured him. (SIGHS LOUDLY) Great. Now I don't just have to rescue the boss and that backstabber Penelope Chase – I also have to get that idiot Wilberforce out of there, too. I have my work cut out for me.

END SCENE

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting Adventure of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle!

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO END